I've been thinking lately. Just random thoughts floating around in my head. Like how blessed I feel lately to have more time with my kids and more time with my dad. I know I will look back on this time in my life and be so grateful for the path I have chosen and for the sacrifices it has taken to get here. My time with them is so valuable.
I've also been noticing the little things more. Like when I'm mowing the lawn and I'm so hot and sweaty that I just want to stop and then the slightest breeze picks up and gently lifts my hair off of my neck and dances with it just long enough to give me the relief I need and the desire to keep going. I've been noticing the people around me more too. Seeing their beauty, and wondering what struggles they are wrestling with and looking more compassionately on people I don't even know. Life is rough sometimes and we could all use a break.
I've been realizing things lately too. Things I should probably already know, but just haven't quite grasped ahold of until now. Like the fact that it's okay to give myself a pat on the back once in a while. It's okay to admit that I've been working hard on certain things and it's okay to celebrate and allow myself to feel success and giddiness over things even if they seem dumb to everyone else. Goals are goals, and more than that when I set them they belong to me, so it's okay to be happy when I feel myself making progress. It's not selfish and it's not vain. It's healthy, and I will allow myself to do it from now on without apologizing for it. The limits that we put on ourselves are kind of silly when we sit down and really think about it, but I have had a few small victories lately that were worth smiling about and I don't regret doing it.
Last but not least I've been thinking a lot about choices and how grateful I am that I get to make them. With each step that I take through this mortal experience I realize that I make a choice before I place my foot down and head in the next direction. Where I go and what I choose to do with my life is completely up to me. If I don't like something I can make the choice to change it, and that's exactly what I've been focusing on. So much of my time and energy over the past couple of months have been spent thinking and then choosing. There are so many options for happiness and success and it's up to me to choose which one to embrace. Right now I choose my family. I choose strengthening relationships that I want for eternity because it's the one thing I will be taking with me when I leave this experience. It feels good to be walking on this path. It feels good to notice the little things, and it feels good to acknowledge the blessings in my life. It confirms to me that I'm right where I need to be