Savoring the Simple

Lately...

2012-01-27T16:00:00.000-08:00

Lately we've been...watching the snow fall and shoveling the driveway. Eating lots of Cuties because they are our favorite winter treat, and catching some snowflakes with our tongues. Sometimes the everyday dull moments are the very best!

Twirling

2012-01-24T05:00:00.000-08:00

Each day after work I pick my little man up from Grandma's house and drive home to await the arrival of my girls. He tells me about his day and the fun things that he did as we slowly inch our way home behind another one of the elementary school buses. It's a peaceful part of my day. It's a time when I actually live in the moment as I listen to Doop's entertaining take on the day, and each day as I listen to him I get to observe. As I stop the car every hundred feet or so behind the school bus, I get to sit back and watch. On one particular corner on the way home I watch as a mother approaches the bus every single day at the same exact time to help her disabled son get off of the bus. Every day she greets the bus driver with a smile and every day she visits with him as her son slowly clambers down from the bus. Each day she places his walker in front of him and she waves goodbye to the bus driver as she follows her son up the slope of their driveway. On two occasions I have watched her son hurriedly pack snowballs together as his mother finishes up her chat with the bus driver, and when she turned to follow her son into the house he softly pelted her with the snow. Both times he laughed at his own actions and she shook her head, and both times I smiled.

Just a bit farther ahead on the same road I watch another mother. She walks to the bus stop each day arriving at about the same time the bus does, and she waits for her son to get off. At this particular bus stop there is what seems like 25 children that exit the bus, and each day she stands with a smile on her face while she waits for the crowd of kids to scatter finally exposing her son. Just like clock work when he finally shakes free from the mob, he runs to meet her where she is waiting to give him a hug and a kiss and they walk home together with his hand in hers. Every time I witness this it makes my heart smile. I envy these ladies. I envy the mom's that they are. Being a mom is all I've ever wanted since the time I was told it was highly likely that being a mom wouldn't happen for me, and now it's my turn. Over the course of this past month I have put my 2012 One Word into action. I have officially made my first Change of the year. I have accepted a new job. I made a choice to change my job to one that will allow me to have more mom time. I'm going to be one of those moms. One of those moms that I see getting their kids off of the bus. One of those moms who cooks dinner, and one of those moms who makes a home for their family. I'm also going to be a daughter to parents who could really use some help right now. I'm going to spend less time at a job, and spend more time in the places where I need to be right now in my life. Change is good, choice is powerful, and I haven't made a decision that felt this right in a really long time. This is the first change of many to come this year. I have many more plans for myself and changes I want to make, but this one is big and this one affects all of us. It's a change that we're all excited about, and it's one that has us so happy we're twirling!

Honoring a Hero

2012-01-19T05:00:00.000-08:00

Last week my little man had the special honor of holding a flag in the funeral procession of a fallen hero. Tragically, six police officers were gunned down in our local city, and one of them did not survive. My little boy was one of many who stood outside in the cold to honor this hero and the many others who serve to protect us each day. Although I was not able to attend, Doop's Grandma and Grandpa reported that he stood proudly holding the big flag as the many police cars and fire engine carrying the body of the fallen officer slowly passed by. He didn't just participate in this amazing out pouring of support, but he was affected by it. For days following this somber event, he continued to talk about the things he saw and felt. He just couldn't understand why this young man had to die. He couldn't understand why his wife and two children are now left without their husband and father. It was just too big for him to wrap his little innocent mind around. There were a couple of things that he did get though. He understands the courage that it took for this officer to complete his job and ultimately die for it. He understands that we should be grateful for his service as well as for the many others who serve each day to help keep us safe. He understands that two little girls no longer have their dad to watch them grow up and experience the things that he gets to with his own dad, and because he understands these things he has included Officer Francom and his family in his prayers every single night since he witnessed and felt all of the things he experienced during the funeral procession last week. A true hero has been imprinted on his heart, and the small flag and pin that he was given are not the only things he brought home with him that day. He brought home a perspective that he didn't have before. He brought home compassion for the families that have been so deeply affected by this event, and he brought home a love for the officers that work so hard on our behalf. He also brought home a bit of pride in his heart for the community that we live in and the fact that he was able to stand side by side with so many to say thank you for the overwhelming sacrifice that this family and many others have experienced. I'm so proud of him, and I'm grateful that he was able to participate. He will be holding on to everything he brought home as a reminder of this day. I hope he remembers it forever.

First Snow

2012-01-16T05:00:00.000-08:00

Our winter has been really weird this year. It is so warm one day and cold the next. We finally got our first snow though. It's only about 2 months behind, but hey better late than never. It was only supposed to be a light dusting, but we woke up to much more than that. The kids couldn't wait to go out and use their sleds. There really wasn't enough snow to do much sledding, but they were so excited that they decided to make the best of it. I had to catch a few pictures of the beauty.

Disneyland!

2012-01-10T05:00:00.000-08:00

In November of 2011 we surprised the kids with a trip to Disneyland. We woke them up on a Saturday morning and gave them an envelope. It had a clue in it that directed them to several other envelopes, and along the way they collected clues. In the end they had to solve the riddle to figure out that we would be going to Disneyland. They were beyond excited. I think this was something they never really thought would happen, and to be honest neither did I. We decided since this is probably only a one time trip that we should map out our time and research the things that we wanted to see and do the very most. We made a brief list, packed our things and before we knew it we were on our way. The drive was long, but honestly one of the best parts of the trip. I think we made some of our best memories in that little car. We laughed harder than we ever have, and things happened there that we will never forget! California was beautiful, busy, and a nice place to visit. We spent three days in Disneyland and one at Sea World. The whole experience was so much fun. From our time in the hotel room, to our time by the pool, to our time in the park itself, I just couldn't have asked for a better trip. Seej got to celebrate her birthday in Disneyland with extra special treatment on her day. I don't think it's a birthday she will ever forget. Here are some of our favorite things about our trip.

Riding Indiana Jones and listening to Doop yell over his shoulder from the driver's seat that he promised he would get us out safely.
Peeling Lou's fingers off of the post to get her on Splash Mountain and then reaching the end of the ride and hearing her say, "That's my favorite ride!"
Watching Seej wait patiently in line after line to meet and get autographs from as many Disney characters as she could.
Seeing JM smile and laugh on every single ride, and watching the kids fight over who got to ride with him next.
Riding the Tower of Terror with Seej and feeling the death grip that she had on my right arm.
Watching World of Color in the evening and taking it all in as a family. It was amazing.
Piling in on the hotel bed with everyone while we rested our feet and ate pizza for dinner.
Driving around California, getting lost and laughing while we listened to directions from the Tom Tom.
Sitting with JM in our sweatshirts and coats while we watched the hooligans swim in the pool with steam coming off of their heads.
Hearing everyone say they couldn't wait to come back home

So here is a glimpse of our time in Disneyland. Believe it or not, I didn't take a ton of pictures. I made a decision before we left that I would enjoy the trip as a mom and not a photographer. I took my old camera and one lens. I wanted things to be simple, and I wanted to be able to enjoy my time without worrying about my camera getting broken, stolen, or lost. I'm glad I did it. Although there were times when I was frustrated and wanted to take better pictures, it was better that way. It forced me to just be. To enjoy the time with my kids and just capture things we really wanted to remember. I didn't get my camera out often, but when I did it was usually because the kids were pointing out things they wanted to remember. The images are few, but they stir good memories, and make me smile every time I look at them. These are the moments I really wanted to remember.

Winter Walking

2012-01-06T05:00:00.000-08:00

We went walking this week. We are experiencing an amazingly mild winter so far. It's been nice. So nice in fact, that we talked Grandpa into going on a walk. The winters are long for him. It's painful for him to be out in the cold weather, so when the temps hit a warm 49 degrees, he agreed that a ride outside would be a good change of scenery. We started out with all three hooligans fighting over who would get to push him down the road in his chair. There aren't many things that bring a smile to his face anymore, but three little people loving him this much made him feel pretty special. It made me smile big, and I had to laugh when my little man won the fight. It was an adventurous ride for Grandpa, and that's putting it mildly. It's a little hard for Doop to see where he's going since he's shorter than the wheelchair, and combine that with the slope in the road and there were a couple of times that I was sure my dad was going to end up in the ditch. His remaining leg got a pretty good workout trying to stop the chair and get it turned back in the right direction. It was good for him, and good for us to spend time together. It's not something we've done in a while. The sun on my face, and watching the kids interact with him and Grandma was priceless. Here are a few images of our time together. If you're feeling the winter blues, go outside and take a look around. Look hard. There are so many beautiful things to see, and I promise you will be glad you did. I've decided I need a lot more winter walking!

One Word

2012-01-03T05:00:00.000-08:00

Last year I participated in the One Little Word Project instead of making resolutions for the year. My word for 2011 was Today. It was an eye opening experience. I couldn't believe the power of focusing on one little word, and so this year I have decided to join again. Although I didn't make the official scrapbook, I did combine daily statements and photographs to help me continually focus on my 2011 word. Picking out a word last year was not difficult. I knew that my focus needed to be in the present. It needed to be on each day one at a time. My word for 2012 came to me just as easily. I knew right away what I wanted to focus on for this year. I knew what I needed to focus on.

Change. My one word for 2012 is change. This will be my year. To reach out and grab hold of the things that will make my life better. To embrace the power of decision making combined with action. This will be the year of positive change. I am committed to keeping my eyes on the goal and taking the necessary steps to make it happen.

Change. Make or become different. Alter, vary, or shift. So many things in my life that need a positive change, and it's up to me to do it.

"They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom." -Confucius

2012 is my year of change.

Rock Star

2011-12-27T19:23:00.000-08:00

Christmas has come and gone, but my vacation with the hooligans has not. I'm enjoying my time at home with them, and in fact I am enjoying it so much that I have hardly picked up my camera. I did get a handful of shots from Christmas day, but other than that we have been playing games, dancing, riding bikes, and also fitting in the dreaded after Christmas clean up. Not fun, but extremely necessary. Anyway, I had to take some time out of my day today to capture my rock star in action. Santa brought a Paper Jamz for my little man. It was on the top of the large list of things he asked for, and lucky for him Santa came through. I must admit that although I didn't know much about this guitar, I knew it would make noise and I wasn't too excited to listen to it; however, I also didn't know at the time how good little Doop would be at playing it. For a little boy who cannot hear well he is a natural with rhythm and music. This shouldn't surprise me. Music has always literally moved him, but I gained a new appreciation for his talent when he started adding his own musical interpretation in with the existing music on this guitar. He is awesome, and I'm convinced that one day soon he will be a major rock star. When that day comes I'm going to look back on these images and smile because there's really no doubt that music will play a role in his future, and I can't wait to see it. So for the next week I'm going to soak in as much of it as I can. That and more laughing, playing, and getting ready for the new year. So have a good one my friends, and rock on!

Our Christmas Card

2011-12-23T05:00:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas, and to do that I'm sharing our Christmas card here with all of my friends near and far. I had my cards printed at the Paper Coterie this year, and although this isn't the exact card, it's pretty darn close. :)

Top 10 List for 2011

Dad caught over 300 fish.
Seej pitched the softball 167 times.
We went on 8 bike rides as a family in a single file line.
We drove 895 miles to go camping and to the cabin.
Doop used 57 towels to dry off after swimming.
Lou caught 250 potato bugs, worms, and caterpillars.
We went on 13 horse rides in the late evening sun.
We exchanged 2,048 hugs, kisses, and I love you's.
We shared 10, 498 laughs.
Mom took at least 3000 pictures to remember all of it.

Merry Christmas from our family to yours! I wish you every happiness during this holiday season.

The Beauty of Kindness

2011-12-20T05:00:00.000-08:00

"Kindness is like snow- It beautifies everything it covers."

Share some kindness today. Someone somewhere close to you needs it, and kindness is beautiful.

A Funny Story

2011-12-16T05:00:00.000-08:00

Here's the thing. Life has been busy around here, and I haven't been keeping track of it here the way I should. It is after all the main purpose of this blog. So, with that being said I need to do a bit of catching up. I need to rewind back to the month of November. A few things happened last month that I didn't document because of my gratitude project. My girl Seej had a birthday, we took a trip to Disneyland, and my little man lost his first tooth. It was a big month. I have lots of pictures to share still from all of these events, but I thought I would start with Doop losing his first tooth.

This is how it went. For the past few months his two bottom teeth have been very loose. We visited the dentist at the beginning of the school year, and he mentioned that it wouldn't be long before they came out. Naturally Doop became pretty excited at the prospect of his first tooth coming out, and his first visit from the Toothfairy. The days went by and both teeth stayed in his mouth. He wiggled them every now and then and he patiently waited. Then the week before Thanksgiving came, and he asked me when I thought his teeth would actually come out of his mouth. He was getting concerned. To make light of the situation I asked him when he thought they might make their departure. He made a bet with me that one of his teeth would come out on Thanksgiving. That was the end of it.

Fast forward to Thanksgiving morning. He sleepily got out of bed and wandered into our bedroom. I was already up cooking Thanksgiving dinner, but I could hear him talking with JM. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I could hear his feet quickly padding back and forth down the hall. Eventually he appeared in the kitchen. He excitedly came to tell me that his tooth was gone. He was so thrilled that the day had finally come, but there was a catch. When I asked him where his tooth was he honestly replied that he had no idea. He had no clue where his tooth was. He didn't know if he had swallowed it, or if it was somewhere in his bed. He was telling the truth. When he got out of bed that morning he didn't even know his tooth was gone. JM pointed this out to him and with complete disbelief he headed to the bathroom to see in the mirror for himself. This is when the excitement started, and he ran downstairs to show me that it was gone. He didn't care that his tooth was no where to be found. He was just happy that it finally fell out. His concern over the missing tooth changed when I informed him that the Toothfairy wouldn't leave him any money if there wasn't a tooth under his pillow. With that he turned and ran straight upstairs to find it.

I could hear him frantically searching. He looked through his bed, and he looked on the floor, and when he had looked in every possible place he could think of he returned downstairs to let me know that he just couldn't find the missing tooth. He was certain that he had swallowed it in the night. I jokingly told him again that I didn't think the Toothfairy would bring any money if there wasn't a tooth under the pillow. This is the funny part. Upon hearing this news, he turned and ran upstairs. I figured he was going to look one more time for the missing tooth. I was wrong. He ran up to our room and asked JM to pull the second loose tooth. JM popped it out, and Doop quickly returned to the kitchen with it in his hand. Can you believe that? He was so worried about the Toothfairy not visiting that he had his dad pull his other tooth out. Yes, it was loose, but still can you believe it? What a funny kid. He got a bonus too. While he was downstairs showing me the tooth that he had JM pull, JM actually found the first one he lost in the hallway on the floor. And like every story should end, this one has a happy ending too. The Toothfairy did visit him, and he ended up with double the money! Funny story from a funny kid. Man do I love him!

(His new teeth are already in. He refused to let me take a picture until now because he was afraid that everyone would laugh at him. On this day he let me take a picture because he was in the doghouse and he was trying to bargain his way out. This worked, and although it's a little late, I'll take it. Did I mention he is funny?)

I Am Worthy

2011-12-13T05:00:00.000-08:00

"Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is feeling you're worthy of the trip." -Glenn Beck

Feeling a little weary lately, but we are still learning. Learning together. Learning that we are worthy. Of peace, of love, of opportunities, and of every single thing this life has to offer. We are worthy and so are you. Don't forget it.

The View from Here

2011-12-09T05:00:00.000-08:00

"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it". -Roald Dahl

Found this bit of magic in my backyard searching for an image for Day 5 of Picture the Holidays. My stomach and hands were frozen by the time I finished this. It may not look like it, but it's only 26 degrees here today. In my cold, barren backyard this little beauty was a bit of magic and warmth, and I really had to dig to find it. When I stepped outside to find a subject for my camera it was difficult. I finally decided to plant myself in the middle of the backyard and look around myself from every angle possible. Every time I looked around I was repeatedly drawn to the light and it finally hit me that I needed to get down low and look at what the light was shining on. That's when this little treasure caught my eye. On this day I had to dig to find beauty. I had to search for it and change my perspective. It was a good lesson for me. Sometimes the magic and beauty we are looking for can't readily be seen. Sometimes we have to want to find it bad enough before it can be found. As cold as it was I'm so glad I stuck it out. This image gives me hope. It reminds me of the importance of slowing down to really look at the world around me. To look at things differently and to notice beauty in unobvious places. It inspires me, and I plan to find more of this tomorrow because the view from here was magical.

This Season

2011-12-06T05:00:00.000-08:00

This holiday season we have been busy. Busy spending lots of time together. We ventured out on the day after Thanksgiving to find the perfect tree. High on a mountain in the knee deep snow we walked and hiked until we found just the right one. While we were there the kids also found the perfect sledding hill and they went up and down the hill until they were soaked and cold. Finding the tree is quickly becoming one of my favorite traditions. I wish I had more images from our time in the wind and the snow, but I chose to leave the camera behind and enjoy the experience. There are many things about it that I won't forget. Like the stillness on the mountainside. Like the beauty of the white wonderland. Like the sound of laughter coming from the bottom of the hill every time the sled went rushing down through the snow. Like the fire that we made when we made our way back to the truck and the hot cocoa that kept our hands and bellies warm as we prepared to make the journey back home. I also won't forget how the kids begged us for almost three days to decorate the tree, and I won't forget the smiles that came to their faces as we dug out each ornament that they have collected from years past. I won't forget the way the tree looked when we lit it up for the very first time. It's as beautiful in our home as it was in its home on the mountain side. I also won't forget what this season is really about and the beauty that it adds to our home. This season feels good. This season is one of my favorites, and this season I will be enjoying as much time with my family as possible.

Photography, and My Best Friend

2011-12-03T05:00:00.000-08:00

Photography. 29|30.

Today I am grateful for photography. For the ability to be creative. For the avenue it provides me to escape and relax. For my muse and her willingness to pose. Today I am grateful that my camera can take me away from the world and away from my worries to a place that is comfortable.

My Best Friend. 30|30

On this the last day of the Gratitude Project, I am grateful for my best friend. For his kindness, for his giving spirit, for the father that he is to our children, and for his desire to do good. For his hard working hands, for his smile, for his never ending memory of movie lines that always make me smile, and for the way that he loves me. For the places he's taken me, and for the laughter we've shared. For his strength in hard times and for his patience with who I am. For his love of simplicity and the gift of friendship that he shares with so many. For all of these reasons and so many more I could not have a Gratitude Project and not include my very best friend.

This Girl, Christmas, and Family Night

2011-12-01T05:00:00.000-08:00

This Girl. 26|30.

Today I am grateful for her. For who she is. For her strength. For her imagination. For her contentment. For her courage. For her quiet ways, and for her tender heart. I'm grateful for her gifts and her willingness to just be who she is and love it. I adore her spirit and I'm so grateful that she is part of this family. On this day I am grateful for this girl and the difference she makes in our home.

Christmas. 27|30.

We finally managed to get the lights up on the tree last night, and when I see it's beauty it makes my heart swell. On this day I am grateful for Christmas. For what it means. For my faith. For my Savior and for His love for me. For the time we will spend together during the season and the beauty and smiles it will bring. I love that my gratitude will continue to be readily at the surface throughout the Christmas season.

Family Night. 28|30

Oh how I love family night. The night when we plan to be together. When we spend time learning and laughing and just being. Whether we are doing an activity or just being together watching a favorite movie. Above many things, family night is my favorite.

Days at Home, Holidays, and Traditions

2011-11-29T05:00:00.000-08:00

Days at Home. 23|30

My gratitude on day 23 revolves around days at home. They don't happen often for me. I have always dreamed of being able to quit my job and take care of my family as my main line of work, but it just hasn't ever worked out. When days come along that I get to stay with my children and take care of my home, I am transported to another state of happiness. I love everything about it, and I appreciate the times when it happens. On this day I'm grateful that I was able to stay with my kids and see my girl sing in her first choir concert of the school year. She easily stood out with her reindeer antlers and she danced and sang her heart out. I'm so grateful I could be there to witness not only her talent, but her happiness. Days at home are simply the best.

Holidays. 24|30

Today I am grateful for holidays. Especially this one. Thanksgiving is my favorite. I just love everything about it. The fact that family gets together to share the entire day without any expectations other than to enjoy one another's company is awesome. And the food. Who could forget the food. The smells that fill our home the day before the actual holiday and all day on the day of are glorious. I love holidays mostly because they revolve around family and there is no place I'd rather be than spending time with my family.

Traditions. 25|30

Today I am grateful for traditions. They help us to create memories, and each year there is just a bit of a variation from the last. We spent time on this day hiking all over the mountain to find the perfect Christmas tree to cut down. The snow was deep and the blizzard raged on while we were there softly falling quietly on the trees. We laughed, we wore ourselves out, and once again we created another memory to be filed away and talked about for years down the road. The kids found the perfect hill to sled on and we ended with a fire and hot cocoa before leaving. It was beyond fun and one of my favorite traditions.

Warm Baths, Convenience, and Peace

2011-11-25T18:36:00.000-08:00

Warm Baths. 20|30

On this day I'm grateful for running water and warm baths. My boy was up sick all night, and there just isn't anything other than your mom's arms than a bath to make you feel better when you're sick. Today I'm grateful that this is something I have available to help comfort him when he's sick.

Convenience. 21|30

Today was day two of my little man being sick. He has been throwing up. In the day, in the night, and even in my bed. It has been awful. Just when we think he is better, he isn't. So on this day we spent a couple of hours at the laundromat. We spent time washing all the big stuff. The things that won't fit in my machine. As I looked around I felt gratitude for the convenience of my machine at home. For the fact that I don't have to do this once a week or more. For the convenience of walking downstairs and doing a load of laundry while working on other things and being at home the whole time to do it. At the same time, I also felt gratitude that during the times I truly need to visit this place that I can. That it is close to my home and available to help me clean things up and make them fresh and new again. Today I feel gratitude on both ends of the convenience spectrum. I'm grateful for this new perspective and for this day as a whole.

Peace. 22|30

Today I am grateful for peace. For the peace in my heart. For the ability to make tough decisions and feel good about them. For knowing myself and knowing my path and feeling good about walking on it. More lately than ever I have learned to appreciate peace in my heart. To search for it daily. To hold onto it, and to take whatever risks necessary to find my way back to it when I allow it to slip away. Today I feel a strong sense of peace and I am so grateful for it.

P.S.- I'm grateful for Oreos too! ;)

Friends, Seasons, and Flannel Sheets

2011-11-23T05:00:00.000-08:00

Friends. 17|30.

Today I am grateful for friends. I am grateful for you. Yes you. My flickr friends, my blogging friends, my friends at work, my friends from school, and for every friend that has touched my life. Friends come right after family in the happiness category, and you have all been so kind to me. Friends just make the world a better place. Just ask my boy how he feels about his horse. The bond is just natural. They are best buddies. There isn't much that they wouldn't do for one another. On this day I am grateful for the bond they have, and so grateful for each one of you.

Seasons. 18|30

Today I am grateful for seasons. Seasons of life, seasons of change, and the four seasons that hit us in our beautiful state. This time in my life is so cherished, and as I look back there were so many others that I felt the same way about. As we head out of fall and into winter with snow on it's way today I feel the same way about the four seasons. If they didn't all come and go, I wouldn't appreciate them nearly as much. Today I am grateful for the seasons.

Flannel Sheets. 19|30.

On day 19, I am grateful for flannel sheets. For the way the kids look forward to me putting them on, and for the way they feel when they climb inside of their beds after a long day. For their softness and warmth. The snow is flying outside, and on this day I'm grateful for flannel sheets.

Books, Enough, and Firsts

2011-11-21T05:00:00.000-08:00

Books. 14|30

Today I am grateful for books. For the opportunity to read and enter worlds that I never would otherwise. For the privilege that it is to read and understand the words. For the things that I learn by doing so, and for the never ending books available to take me away when I am stressed out. On this day I am grateful for this, one of my favorite pastimes.

Enough. 15|30

Today I am grateful for enough. Enough food to eat, enough money to pay the bills, and enough clothes to get through the week before having to wash them again. It isn't construed as glamorous to live and just get by sometimes, but right now I am so grateful for it. It's not much, but it is definitely enough and that's more than some can hold onto right now. For this realization I am truly grateful.

Firsts. 16|30

Today I am grateful for firsts. First homes, first glimpses of a brand new baby, first steps, first words, first jobs, first kisses, first anniversaries, and first trips to Disneyland. So many firsts that happen in our lives, and the repeat of any of these events is just not the same when done over. Firsts leave a mark on our heart and our memory much more so than anything else, and today I am grateful for the opportunity to experience so many of them.

Homework, My Tribe, and Eyesight

2011-11-19T05:00:00.000-08:00

Homework. 11|30

Today I am grateful for homework. For me homework means time with my hooligans. It means watching them learn and grow. It means being their advocate, it means being their cheerleader, and it means watching their faces light up when they finally understand something they have struggled so hard with. Today I am grateful to help them with their homework.

My Tribe. 12|30

Today I am grateful for my tribe. For my three hooligans and my best friend. For the laughter that we share, for the inside jokes that only we know about, and for the way we love each other. Today I am grateful to be a part of this wonderful family.

Eyesight. 13|30

Today I am grateful for eyesight. For the opportunity to see the beautiful world in which we live. To appreciate color and texture, and to marvel at the pretty things that have been given to us. My eyesight is cherished on this day and always and today I am more grateful than ever.

The Rose, My Mixer, and The Garden

2011-11-17T05:00:00.000-08:00

Gratitude continued...

8|30. The Rose.

Today I am grateful for the rose. For the reminder it provides me of my inheritance. For the legacy before me of those who also carry this name. For their beauty. For their courage. For their example. For their strength. Today I am grateful to realize that they are a gift in my life, and following in their footsteps is an honor. I am grateful for this flower and for the connections it reminds me of whenever my eyes fall upon it, and I am also grateful to share it's name.

9|30. My Mixer.

Today I am grateful for my mixer. For the teaching moments it allows me with my children. For the way it brings everyone to the kitchen to lick the beater and the bowl. For the reminders that it stirs in my memory of time shared in the kitchen with my own mom when I was a girl. For the wonderful creations that it helps me to make. Today I am grateful for my mixer.

10|30. The Garden.

Today I am grateful for the garden. For the time that we spent together digging in the dirt. For the beautiful bounty that it has provided us with, and for the beauty we will continue to enjoy. I am grateful for the garden and the things it has taught me throughout my lifetime. That patch of dirt has been a wonderful teacher to me, and today I am grateful for it.

Her, Kindness, and Dinner

2011-11-15T05:00:00.000-08:00

The gratitude project continues...

5|30. Her.

Today I am grateful for her. For packing my camera gear around and making my job easier when we photograph other people. For being my muse, and allowing me to grow my photography skills. For her patience with me when I ask her to pose for me again and again. For sharing in what I love most and for shooting with me in our down time. For encouraging me to continue and for giving me her opinion. For all of these things and a long list of many more, I love her so much and today I am grateful for who she is.

6|30. Kindness

My gratitude today revolves around kindness. For those who extend kind words, deeds, and service to me. I am truly grateful for the random acts that have touched my heart over the past few months. I have come to realize what a gift kindness is and on this day I am truly grateful to have been the recipient. I have truly been blessed by the kindness of those around me. This bread was made possible by a kind neighbor who happily shared some eggs with me when there were none left in my own fridge. Kindness is so beautiful.

7|30. Dinner.

Today I am grateful for dinner. I am grateful for the opportunity to sit down with my family at the end of the day and eat a meal together. To discuss what has gone on throughout the day and to laugh around the table while eating a home cooked meal. This is a bit of new routine for our family, and on this day when I cut up vegetables for homemade soup I am grateful for time spent in the kitchen to prepare the meal that brings us together.

The D Family

2011-11-12T05:00:00.000-08:00

What can I say about this beautiful family? I am so blessed to have them in my life. To share a friendship with them, to share enormous amounts of laughter with them, and to have shared so much time with them. They are some of my favorite people in this world, and I consider them family. It was more than a pleasure to photograph them. We literally laughed until we cried. It's just what we do when we spend time together, which is why I love them so much.

Moments Like These

2011-11-10T05:00:00.000-08:00

Gratitude Project. 4|30

On day four of this month I am grateful for moments like these. Times when it's just us. When we laugh, when we sit, when we enjoy each other's company. When I see her spirit and her innocence and I just want to hold onto her forever. Moments like these don't happen every day, and when they do I want to drag them out for as long as possible. I want to cherish moments like these because I realize just how special they are. Today I'm grateful for these moments shared with her.

Better Late Than Never

2011-11-08T05:00:00.000-08:00

Life has been a bit busy around these parts, and time has slipped away from me a bit. I'm just now posting the kids' Halloween pictures. Better late than never though, right?

First up is my girl Seej. When I first asked her what she was going to be for Halloween this year, she wasn't sure she wanted to dress up at all. No way. My girl is way too young to already bow out from dressing up on Halloween, and as I talked to her about this more she finally changed her mind. She decided she wanted to be an '80's girl because "that was like eon's ago". Huh. I think I remember the '80's. I think I remember them very well in fact. I guess that means I'm old. This was such a fun costume to put together. Seej and I visited the local thrift store and we spent the afternoon treasure hunting for the perfect '80's outfit. I think we did pretty good. Her whole outfit was found in this store minus the leg warmers and shoes. The bow and earrings actually belong to me. Leftovers from believe it or not the '80's. :) We took this picture at the end of the day, which made me sad because she had some pretty good '80's hair going when she left for school in the morning. It was pretty deflated by the afternoon.

Just in case you weren't aware, these jelly bracelets are back in style. Leg warmers are coming around too. I'm not surprised. The '80's were the best!

Next up is my girl Lou. Lou is such an easy girl. When I asked her about Halloween she immediately replied that she wanted to be a cowgirl. How easy is that in our house? We just happen to be fully equipped for this costume. No purchases to make, and no make up to apply. All she had to do was run to her room and dress just like she would anytime we horse ride. She looks good in this don't you think?

She's a true cowgirl my Lou, and this costume just couldn't fit who she is better.

Last but not least is my little man. His costume was pretty easy too, or so I thought it would be. He chose to wear the same skeleton costume that he wore last year. Score!

I should have known that it just wouldn't be that easy though. He wore the skeleton to school, and one of his classmate's mom attended school that day and painted his face. I was surprised when I came home to see this cool face paint to go with his costume. I snapped this picture real quick and 15 minutes later he had a major meltdown. I think it had something to do with all of the partying that had gone on, lack of sleep, and too much candy. Nevertheless, the tears didn't mix well with the make up and soon it was all dripping off of his face. Seeing this mess in the mirror only escalated the trauma and soon it was all washed away. I swear. It's a good thing I like him as much as I do. In the end the skeleton costume ended up in the closet and he busted out his camouflage clothes and the turkey call and he went trick-or-treating dressed like a turkey hunter. No pictures of that of course. We'll just pretend that he stuck it out in this costume, and try to forget the drama. Ugh.

Millie & Company

2011-11-05T05:00:00.000-07:00

I had the opportunity to photograph my dear friend with all of her boys and her sweet little girl. Sweet little Millie stole my heart. Just take a look at her and you will see why. Thank you my friend for spending time with me, and for allowing me to capture your family.

Gratitude Project

2011-11-03T05:00:00.000-07:00

November has arrived, and I'm joining my friends on flickr with a 30 day gratitude project. There is so much to be grateful on a daily basis and this is a good time to pay special attention to those things and document them further. So let it begin.

1|30. This boy.

November gratitude of course includes this face. So grateful for who he is. For my time with him. For his infectious laugh, and for the way he loves me. For his hand in mine. For every "I love you" . For my special "mom time" with him. My life would just not be complete without him in it.

2|30. My Country.

Today I am grateful for my country. For the freedom that I enjoy. For those who continue to fight for it, and for the swelling I feel in my heart when I see the red, white and blue flag waving in the wind. Just like my girl, I love America!

3|30. Time.

On this day I'm grateful for time. For the gift that it is. For the slowing hands of the clock in my recent days. For spending it with the people I love most, and for the opportunity to steal some of it with my camera to save up for a rainy day. I'm grateful for every second that I laugh, for every minute that I learn, and for every hour that I spend walking forward in life discovering my purpose. As the clock continues to tick, I continue becoming who I want to be. Today I'm grateful for the hands of time.

Joy

2011-11-01T05:00:00.000-07:00

"I am rich today with autumn's gold,

All that my covetous hands can hold;

Frost-painted leaves and goldenrod,

A goldenfinch on a milkweed pod,

Huge golden pumpkins in the field

With heaps of corn from a bounteous yield,

Golden apples heavy on the trees

Rivaling those of Hesperides,

Golden rays of balmy sunshine spread

Over all like butter on warm bread;

And the harvest moon will this night unfold

The streams running full of molten gold.

Oh, who could find a dearth of bliss

With autumn glory such as this!"

-Gladys Harp

The world around us is beautiful. Go outside and notice it. Play in the leaves with your kids. Catch a butterfly or two. Share an apple from a tree. Take a long walk and enjoy each other's company. Visit a good neighbor. Hold the hand of someone you love. Listen to your children. Invite your parents or grandparents to be a part of your day. Let them share in your joy. Notice the light in the eyes of those around you. Make a memory. Take a picture. Find your own happiness. Appreciate your gifts. Slow down. Grasp opportunities. Share who you are. Realize that you are blessed. Look for the good in your life. Write down what you're grateful for. Just be you. Discover that you are enough. Seek out joy every day. It is waiting, and I promise you can find it. If you try.

Lately

2011-10-29T05:00:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been settling in. I've been soaking up the beauty around me and counting my blessings. They are abundant.

Lately I've been basking in the fall light. I've been roaming around in the early evening hours hearing the crispy sounds of fall and finding that gorgeous light that will be gone all too soon.

Lately I've been feeling gratitude. For friends near and far, for experiences and learning moments, and for kind words from others. I have learned to cherish them.

Lately I've been sharing. Sharing a smile, sharing a thought, and sharing my perspective. It is getting easier.

Lately I've been thinking. Thinking about life, thinking about who I want to become, and thinking about how my choices affect those around me.

Lately I've been happy. Happy in my home, happy in my progress with goals, and happy in my heart.

Lately I've been spending time with my family. Riding horses, going on walks, and laughing so hard I hurt.

Lately I've been recognizing that life is good. It is right where I want to be.

Individuality

2011-10-27T05:00:00.000-07:00

Today Statement # ?- (honestly I lost track) :)
Today I will give the gift of non-judgment. I will allow others to be who they are and appreciate our differences because we all have beautiful qualities, and that should be celebrated instead of ridiculed.

This is something I'm practicing every single day. This picture is beautiful because of the variety in color, textures and shapes. It's the individuality of each of the leaves that brings interest and ultimate beauty, and the same thing goes for us. The world is a better place because each of us exists with our own unique gifts, and I want to recognize that. I want to see it just as readily as I saw it right here in my daughter's hands.

V Family

2011-10-25T05:00:00.000-07:00

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.

Life is beauty, admire it.

Life is bliss, taste it.

Life is a dream, realize it.

Life is a challenge, meet it.

Life is a duty, complete it.

Life is a game, play it.

Life is a promise, fulfill it.

Life is sorrow, overcome it.

Life is a song, sing it.

Life is a struggle, accept it.

Life is a tragedy, confront it.

Life is an adventure, dare it.

Life is luck, make it.

Life is too precious, do not destroy it.

Life is life, fight for it.

-Mother Teresa

Life has taught me each of these things, and watching this family who happen to be my very good friends has taught me how true every line of this quote really is. I just can't thank them enough. For their friendship, for their courage, for their example, and for allowing me to share a part of their life. I have been so blessed by being a part of theirs.

The Backyard

2011-10-23T05:00:00.001-07:00

The backyard was one of my very favorite places growing up. I made countless memories here, and so many physical details from this magical place are stamped into my childhood. We had a swingset that was nestled near the end of the yard and sat directly under two large trees. This was a place where I spent a lot of time. Maybe it was just because I was so small, but my memory of this swingset in comparison to the one my children have now is so different. It seemed so much larger, and I could spend hours crossing every inch of it. Back and forth across the entire thing like I was a circus performer. I loved the slide and all of the fun details that made it such a fun place to hang out. Eventually the trampoline took it's place as my favorite part of the backyard. It also sat under the same two large trees, and I would turn my favorite music on loud and jump as high as I could. During rest breaks my dad and I would lay on it in the shade and find shapes in the clouds above us. I remember the sun shining down and the warm breeze blowing across our faces. Another favorite spot in the backyard was the small hill by the barn. This was a great place to play in the winter when the snow piled high. We could make the best slides on this hill and we would play until our snowsuits were soaked all the way through.

I have so many great memories from this exact place. Now my kids are creating memories here. Playing on the swingset, running around, catching frogs, and laughing a lot. Although the scenery has changed slightly, they are experiencing the same thing I did in this yard when I was a young girl. It's a place where they play and get along. It's a place where their imagination takes over and runs rampant. Last week I caught a glimpse of the backyard through their eyes. I got a glimpse of the swingset and of them playing ball, and of the large trees that they use to play hide and seek. The same trees that proudly stood tall in those same spots when I was young. I'm grateful that they get to experience these things, and I'm grateful that on this day last week I was swept back in time to relive a few of my own experiences as I watched them. This backyard holds so many secrets, and above all, this backyard is the keeper of so much happiness.

Giving

2011-10-20T05:00:00.000-07:00

Earlier this year one of our good friends was injured in an accident. On a random day in the middle of the week during his regular routine, life was altered for him forever. The journey that he and his family have been on since that day has been long, and rough, and also fragile. As the ground is starting to settle under their feet they are beginning to get their bearings. They are holding on to one another and doing their best to shift from survival mode to their new reality.

Although it has been a difficult process, they have faced their adversity head on and they have been lifted up by the hands of others. So many people showing them so much kindness has been the recurring theme from day one. It has been rewarding to witness the selfless acts of others. I truly believe that the gift of service is just something that is so precious. It is not only beneficial to the person on the receiving end, but the goodness it does for the spirit of the giver is equally wonderful. The euphoria one receives when contributing to another out of love is a contagious feeling. I believe that as we give, we want to do it more. We want to continue experiencing the good feelings of helping our fellow man, and that goodness that we feel through doing so is such a reward. I saw this again when they held a fundraiser for our friend and his family to help pay for the medical expenses he has incurred. The best part was that my children saw it too. As soon as we arrived they could feel it. They could feel the joy that giving to someone out of love brought. They could feel the energy of goodness in this place, and they couldn't wait to participate and experience it themselves. They made their rounds through the event to find the best place to donate their money, and they had fun doing it. I watched Seej guard several items that she placed bids on in the silent auction, and Lou and Doop could not wait to get their faces painted and of course buy some cotton candy. We spent the day in this place together watching people come together out of love for this family. We experienced the joy in giving to someone we care about, and my kids caught the vision of what life is really about.

"The giving of love is an education in itself." -Eleanor Roosevelt

Gathering

2011-10-18T05:00:00.000-07:00

I've been doing a bit of gathering lately. Gathering in all of the fall harvest and gathering in as much sunshine as I can. I've also been spending lots of time with my hooligans. I've been gathering new memories with them. I've been opening my arms up wide and scooping up as much time with them as possible to gather priceless memories from this time in our life. It's going by so fast, and I want to fill my bucket up for a later date. Of all the things I can do in my life I know that making memories with them is the most important. There are so many things about our day to day life that they will never remember, but I hope they remember the details of our time together just as I remember those things about my childhood. I hope they are gathering things that will help them in the future, and I hope they are gathering traditions and memories that they want to recreate when they have their own families someday. I hope I can be right there with them when they do because I want to continue this kind of gathering until my arms are overflowing.

JP

2011-10-15T05:00:00.000-07:00

JP and I took a walk in the woods on a beautiful fall day. We hiked up a hill and we stood by the beautiful water. We saw many pretty colors and we found some beautiful light.

Who is JP? He is many things. He is funny. He is handsome. He is a soccer super star, and he is my nephew. Our walk in the woods was wonderful. Thanks little man for letting me photograph you!

Signs

2011-10-13T05:00:00.000-07:00

Signs of fall are everywhere. Everywhere I look. The colors. The shapes. The crispness. The chill. The glow, and the light. The light is my favorite part. So warm, and so inviting. So soothing and so peaceful. It's so delicate, and every time I see it I want to wrap myself in it and keep it with me all through the winter. I love fall. I just can't soak enough of it up. Especially the light.

"In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary." -Aaron Rose

For Too Long

2011-10-11T15:30:00.000-07:00

I spent the early parts of last evening outside with my boy cleaning up the yard. It's been a long time coming. For the biggest part of the last year or so I haven't been around home very often and when I have been there my life has been more chaotic and crazy busy than ever. Things are slowing down now. Things are moving at just the right pace these days, and it feels so good to breathe again. I decided last night that it was time to step outside and breathe more of the fresh fall air in and give our yard some attention.
My little man was so excited to spend some time working in the yard together. After pulling several weeds he decided to label our job as a dirty one. He said we should call Mike Rowe and have him join us in our yard. It made me laugh out loud for several reasons. First of all obviously we've been watching a bit too much of the "Dirty Job's" re-runs on Netflix, and second of all my boy is just one funny kid. I just love his thought process. He's always coming up with something that keeps a smile on my face, and my smile remained right there throughout our time together last night. We pulled weeds together filling the wagon, and he pulled the wagon to the garbage can to empty it for me over and over again. Each time he walked along the sidewalk he would pull one of his funny voices out and announce, "Hello, this is Mike Rowe reporting from our next Dirty Job". What a fun task he made out of doing the yardwork.
It's been far too long since I've done this kind of thing with him. It's been far too long since I have allowed myself to step outside in the yard and attempt to regain control of the evidence that the busyness of my life has left behind. It's been far too long since I've braved some negative emotions that I have allowed to hold me hostage inside of my house while attempting to tackle the backed up work waiting there, and it's been far too long since I felt peace in my heart in my own space outside my home. I have been missing out, and I have allowed that to happen. Last night I made a decision. Last night I decided I was done missing out on memories like the one that "little Mike Rowe" and I made together, and I decided I was done avoiding some of the things that I really enjoy. I'm glad I made this decision. It was therapeutic and it was freeing, and I am grateful that my little buddy helped me take one large step in the right direction. I will continue heading down this positive path because it's been far too long since I've felt the beauty of an evening like this one.

Life

2011-10-09T05:00:00.000-07:00

"One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching." -Unknown

I've been thinking a lot lately about things I've learned over the years. Things I want my kids to know. I want them to have many more days like this one. Days where we ditch the routine and run outside because the day is nice, and we have the opportunity to share some time together in the sunshine. I want them to be free to be who they are and to be happy with that. Even if that means not making the most money, or being the most popular, or any of the things that we adults complicate life with. I want them to find their happiness and hold onto it. I want them to learn that it's more important to be kind to others and to share who they are than it is to keep up with the lastest fashion trends, or to keep up with the crowd. I hope they learn that when an opportunity arises to spend time making memories with those they love that they will jump on it, and not be distracted by things that seem more important at the time. I hope they learn to think before they speak especially when they are speaking to those they love. Words are powerful and sometimes they can be sharp and once they are thrown in the direction of someone else they cannot be taken back. I hope they learn to share how they feel, and that they do it often. I hope they continue dreaming and that they work toward achieving them no matter what anyone else thinks because I know that each of them is meant to do great things. I hope they chase after every opportunity life has in store for them, and I hope they embrace the outcome because even if it doesn't work out the way they planned, the most important part will be that they took a chance and tried. These are the things I think of every time I look at this image. So much of life is in front of them, and I am excited to see the path that each of them chooses to walk on. Until then I will enjoy more moments exactly like this one. I will laugh with them every chance I get, and I will tell them every day how much I love them because someday when my life flashes before my eyes, my time with them will be a big part of what makes it worth watching.

H Family

2011-10-07T05:00:00.000-07:00

I had the opportunity to photograph this beautiful family in early September. Easy to work with, happy to be there together, and so kind to each other. I think it all shows in their images.

Heaven

2011-10-04T05:00:00.000-07:00

My little man started class at a new school this year. He had a difficult year last year, and the summer months leading up to a new classroom was a bit rocky as well. School started though and he braved it as well as expected. His biggest concerns have just been getting through the day and keeping up with the work. He has been working hard, and although it's been tough he has given a greater effort than I could have ever hoped for. When he came home and started talking about making a couple of friends this was the icing on the cake. He has been working so hard to make this year different than the last, and making not one, but two little friends has made it so much more fun. When his friends (who happen to be twins) started drawing him maps to their house and sending them home with him from school I knew that we needed to invite them over. I wanted my boy to experience the happiness of having his little friends over to play, and it was so much fun to watch.

Ever thought about heaven? Ever wondered what it might look like? Watching these three little boys laughing, screaming and running from one thing to the next enjoying each others company was like a little piece of heaven. Especially from the perspective of a little boy. There were truck races, and an auto shop. There were all the sound effects that go along with the trucks and their adventures. They raced them inside, they raced them outside, and when that got dull the guns came out. The backyard was magically transformed into a jungle full of wild animals. They found safety on the trampoline shooting high and low at each creature that attacked. They even yelled at me to drop and duck for cover when I went outside to try and catch a few shots. Apparently there was a huge moose that was about to trample me, but no worries. These three had my back. I honestly can't tell you how good it felt to watch my boy with his friends. To see the smile on his face, to hear his huge laugh, and to see him happily lost in a world where nothing else mattered. It was simply the best. I couldn't have asked for a better reward for the hard work that he has put in. On this afternoon every single bit of it was worth it, and on this afternoon I saw what heaven looked like through my little boy's eyes. Having good friends like this just makes the world a better place.

Shining

2011-10-01T05:00:00.000-07:00

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconciously give others the opportunity to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -Marianne Williamson
I thought of this quote when I saw this rose shining in the late September light. Standing tall, glowing, and sharing it's beauty. As my eyes soaked in the scene it reminded me of the importance for each of us to shine because even though the seasons change, it's never too late to share our beauty.

Pen Pals

2011-09-29T05:00:00.000-07:00

Two of my sweet little friends on a rainy September afternoon. We didn't let a little water stop us from taking pictures. These two cuties are very good friends of my little man, and we love spending time with them. So happy to photograph them, and to make one more memory with them before they make a big move across the country. My boy is going to miss them so much, and so am I. They are going to become our favorite pen pals very soon!

Heroes

2011-09-26T16:30:00.000-07:00

Hero. A man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities.

My girl Lou had an assignment last week. Her task? Make a poster of her hero including the reason why she chose the person she did. I think if this was my assignment I would have a hard time narrowing it down to just one. For her it was an easy choice, and imagine how my heart felt when she brought her poster home and slowly unrolled it to show me. This is what life is all about. This is what makes me happy to be a mom. Of all the people she could have chosen, the first person to come to her mind was her little brother. How awesome is that? These two have been close since before my little man was born. She was ecstatic to hear the news that she would be a big sister to a baby brother. She campaigned for his name and she couldn't wait to see what he would look like. They truly are kindred spirits. I love that she sees him as her hero. I hope that someday he will understand what an honor it is that she would choose him for her poster and that she would label him with such a prestigious title. I hope that their relationship continues just like it is now for a very long time. We all need heroes in our life, and whether we know it or not we are probably all someone else's hero. Lou's reason for her brother being her hero wasn't huge to me, but it was to her. Her reason didn't have anything to do with the real definition of the word. It tells me that each of us can fulfill that role if we take just a little bit of time to show kindness. It's all she was looking for. I'm so happy that she had this assignment. It has taught me so much about the hero I hope to become, and about two of my favorite hooligans and their relationship with one another.

"Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero." -Marc Brown

Peaches

2011-09-24T09:07:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we spent the day in the kitchen. I love fall for many reasons, but the onset of fall is my favorite and this is one of the reasons why. We all gather in the kitchen together to bottle up the last bits of summer and place them on the shelf to enjoy later. I love it. I love that when it gets too hot in the kitchen we can open the window and let the cool air drift in. I love the way it feels to see the fruit in the jars sitting on the shelf like we have captured a bit of time and held on to it. I love how pretty they are throughout the process and most of all I love how they taste when the cold winter sets in. The juice of the peaches seems to hold a bit of the sun and tasting that on a snowy day just makes life better. I love that by doing this I feel like I am holding on to a bit of my mother and a bit of my childhood as well. Doing this myself always brings back images of her standing over a hot stove in her apron when I was young. I guess I just love everything about it, which makes it time well spent.

Helpers

2011-09-22T05:00:00.000-07:00

My little helper. Sitting on the counter in the soft evening light helping to make dinner. Helping my big girl to get everything ready to cook, and building his confidence at the same time. In this safe environment he is learning to be successful. He is learning that he is good at so many things. It is so rewarding for him, and it makes me smile to watch him glow as he succeeds. I love watching him help, and I love each of my helpers.

C Family

2011-09-20T19:13:00.000-07:00

It was my pleasure to photograph this family. Such beautiful people, and so fun to be around. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I believe that. It seems to be the case in my family, and for this one as well. I think we appreciate one another when we don't see each other as often as we would like, and this family definitely enjoyed their opportunity to be together on this day. So glad we could save a few memories from it for them to savor.

Little Beauties

2011-09-18T16:14:00.000-07:00

Look at these little beauties. Straight out of the garden, and often times straight into our mouths. My mom didn't plant these when I was a kid. We just grew the large ones for the table and salsa, but we decided we would attempt to get one of these plants to survive this year. They didn't only survive, but they abundantly produced. We spent some time picking them off of the vine last week. We sent many of them home with a friend, and the rest have landed here on my counter in the colander. I can't help but look at them every time I enter the kitchen. They are such little beauties I can hardly bear to eat them. I think the fact that we grew them as a family makes them even prettier in my eyes. I felt the need to photograph them before I add them to a recipe, and we devour them once and for all. Until then they will act as a beautiful decoration and a wonderful snack.

The Elevator

2011-09-16T16:24:00.000-07:00

I was in a hurry when I left work today. I hustled to the elevator with my carefully mapped out list of things to do scrolling through my head. I pushed the button knowing it would be several more minutes before I reached the ground floor to begin accomplishing my tasks. I boarded the elevator after my wait, and continued to review my strategy for the rest of the day as it slowly clambered downward. As I was daydreaming about my afternoon, the elevator unexpectedly bounced to a stop just one floor short of my destination. The door slowly rolled open and a soft elderly hand gripped the door holding it open while the other motioned for someone else to enter. I backed into the corner and waited to see who the additional rider would be.

A feeble little man approached the opening and I stepped forward to take over the duty of holding the door so that the woman with him could help to ease his walker over the rough entrance. I held the door for this man until he was safely inside and then not one, but two female passengers entered with him. I made my way back to the corner for the slow but short trip to the ground floor. As the elevator began to lower down, this man continued to twist and turn attempting to get his body adjusted in preparation for the upcoming exit. This made the usual seemingly long trip very brief as I watched him struggle with each second that passed knowing that his landing-place would reach him very soon.

As we traveled he bent his head slowly until his eyes met mine, and without opening his mouth he spoke to me. His eyes spoke of gratitude, his face spoke of endurance, and as his head returned to it’s original hanging position it spoke of apology. Just like that he touched my heart, and it made me feel bad that just minutes ago I was in such a hurry to check things off of my list. That’s when it happened. That’s when I took in the whole scene. I looked around at the two women with him. One was his daughter, and the other was his wife. One always in front of him, and the other always behind. I studied their interaction with him in those brief moments until we reached the ground floor. I looked over this man one more time, and I saw something more. I noticed his eyes one more time and the innocence that was resting just behind them. I recognized that innocence. It’s the innocence that comes with succumbing to your circumstances. It comes with the humility it takes to allow others to care for you. I know it well because I have seen it. Up close and personal. I noticed his finely combed hair, and as he turned his head the smell of his aftershave tugged at my heart because I recognized it too. It made me wonder if his wife carefully shaved his face each day the way my mom does for my dad. It made me wonder if she gently pats the aftershave on afterward as the finishing touch of her care.

When we reached the ground floor I heard the bell ding notifying us that we had arrived, and the man’s daughter told him to stay behind so I could get out. I denied her request and once again held the door watching them a little longer. His wife lead the way and patiently waited outside while his daughter coached him in his departure. As he fought with his twisted legs to make them follow her instruction she steadied him with a kind hand on his back and continued to talk him through each step. This perspective was so familiar to me, and I realized that I had not only seen this picture before but I had lived it. He was enduring this trial he was facing and so were the two women who cared for him the most. I know that road. I know the bumps in that path, and I know the strength and courage it takes to continue. Especially for that frail man who was quietly living and allowing himself to be loved. One short lived experience in the elevator after work affected the rest of my day. I slowed down. I paused to have gratitude for my experience because it made me see my own situation through a different set of eyes. It made me realize that even though this time in life is hard, it's precious. It also made me realize that I am not alone. There are others experiencing the same hardships that I am, and we all need someone to lean on. Life is hard, but my ride on the elevator today made me grateful for it. I witnessed the beauty of three people loving each other and suffering together. That's where I want to be in life. Just like those people in the elevator. Although life might be difficult and the trials we face might be hard, the strength we get from going through them is exactly what makes each of us so beautiful.

Roger That

2011-09-11T16:04:00.000-07:00

We went on a short get away over Labor Day. We went to one of my very favorite quiet places to spend some time with family and friends. We relaxed, played games, and basically just took a break from the world. It was very nice with one exception. Doop and Lou busted out the walkie talkies on day one. It seemed to be a good form of entertainment for them. It didn't seem like there would be much harm in letting them play, but this continued. For three days. It went something like this:

Lou: (button pressed, pssht)- "Hey I'm outside. Can you hear me?"

Doop: (pssht)- "Roger that."

Lou: (pssht)- "Ok. Come outside then."

Doop: (pssht)- "Roger that."

Lou: (pssht)- "Are you coming?"

Doop: (pssht)- "Roger that."

Lou: (pssht)- "Why do you keep saying that?"

Doop: (pssht)- "Roger that."

Lou: (pssht)- "Quit it! Stop saying Roger that!"

Doop: (pssht)- "Ok. Roger something else then."

Seriously. This is what we listened to again, and again, and again. And guess what? The "Roger that" talk has continued. It's been a week, and still anytime I ask him to do something he replies, "Roger that". Ugh.

We did enjoy the beauty of this place though, as well as one another's company. We smashed rocks and had a bow shooting contest, ate good food and enjoyed movies together. It was worth all the times that we had to hear "Roger that". I'm sure that saying will wear off of little Doop's tongue soon enough, but the memories we made will last forever.

The View

2011-09-09T06:50:00.000-07:00

"The most beautiful view is the one I share with you." -Author Unknown

Sometimes it's just waiting right outside the front door. Just patiently resting in the light waiting for our eyes to soak it up. Waiting for us to share in the peace radiating from it. Waiting to be noticed.

And sometimes even though the day might be long and our paths might be filled with unexpected bumps and turns, sometimes there is beauty waiting at the end of the road too. No matter where I find beauty and no matter what time of day I see it, "The most beautiful view is the one I share with you."

It's Time

2011-09-07T21:12:00.000-07:00

It's time again. It's time to reap the harvest of the garden and safely tuck it away into storage for the winter. It's time to gather up everything we've grown and bottle it up for later in the year. Once again our harvest is bountiful, and once again I am grateful for the sweet smells drifting through my home as the bottles are filled with the beauty of the bounty. I spent a day last week side by side with my mom doing exactly this. We talked and we laughed and our hands gently carved and sliced each of the home grown ingredients, and then we sat and we waited. We filled our glasses with ice cold water and we talked some more until the glasses were sweating, and eventually it was time to process our work. As each of the bottles were removed and placed on the counter, the sweet sound of them sealing filled my ears. One more year of salsa placed on the shelf, and one more year of memories with my mom to be kept all to myself for a rainy day. It's that time again. Time to continue traditions and time to feel gratitude in my heart for this time with my mother, and for the empowerment I feel from growing and bottling our families hard work in a jar. When we break those bottles out after the snow flies, my mind will drift back to our time together in the garden. The wind blowing through Seej's hair, Lou holding that hose, and Doop's bare feet wandering through rows that they shouldn't. And how could I forget more learning from my mom about her contract with the earth and the way they take care of one another. It's that time of year once again to bottle all of it up and keep it just a little bit longer. I love when it's time.

I Just Love Them

2011-09-05T19:30:00.000-07:00

Love this family. I just love them. That's all there is to it. They are happy, and lovely, and beautiful all at the same time. They are just such good people, and I am proud to call them my friends. Thank you for allowing me to capture your family one more time.

Holding On

2011-09-02T19:30:00.000-07:00

We took the pool down a couple of days ago. The kids came home from school and had one last long swim and then we drained it for the year. The kids ran circles around it as the water ran out, and they played and stuck around until it was completely empty. I made sure I stayed to watch them splash around and play right up until the very last minute. I often think about the times I stop throughout the day to savor the simple things that halt me in my tracks, but until now I haven't ever thought about my own kids doing the same thing. As they danced and played in that water, I thought about the things they are still holding onto. Some of their favorite things from summer are still things they are savoring. Like Seej and her love of dragonflies. I swear I have seen more of them this year than ever before. As the pool drained it's water she was doing her best to capture a few more and marvel at their beauty. They were still there resting in the late summer light, and she was happy to continue chasing them. It has been one of her favorite things to do. And Doop, well I'm sure I don't need to tell you that he got more than just his feet wet splashing around in the remnants of the pool. He would have been much better to just keep his swimming suit on. Instead I drove him home with wet shorts and a wet t-shirt. He didn't need the pool to continue enjoying the water. Lou did some savoring of her own. Her routine throughout this summer has been to swim, and swim, and swim and then enjoy an orange creamy on the swing set. Her routine continued on this day, but she ate this one just a little slower. Slow enough that it was melting down her arm. I think she was dragging it out on purpose. She may continue enjoying the ice cream, but it won't be done following swimming in the pool. Not until next year anyway. It was nice to see them holding on. It was nice to see them appreciating the summer and not wanting to let it go. It tells me how much they enjoyed it, and it tells me that they have learned to hold on to good memories as well. It's a lesson I'm so grateful they have learned.

It Came

2011-08-30T19:54:00.000-07:00

So the day finally came. The day the hooligans have so anxiously been waiting for. The day came when they finally all had the opportunity to go to school together. It was finally their chance to experience everything all at once. From getting ready in the morning to walking to the bus stop to the actual bus ride itself. It finally happened, and they were thrilled. They promised me that I could get a quick shot of them before we all parted ways, so they all gathered together on the porch. There was a bit of complaining about the squeezing in tight and touching one another, but I didn't think it was too bad.

Then the best part of the whole day for me came. Doop put his foot down and demanded that the girls do better. The shot was not acceptable for him, and so I had them kneel down next to him. He quickly flung an arm around each of his sisters and pulled them in close saying, "get in here and smile. I want a good picture of this so I can remember this day forever". That's a direct quote from his little first year of school mouth, and it's one I will keep tucked away in the corner of my heart forever. He had worked hard for this day. Really hard, and he wanted it to be perfect. He was right. This one is much better.

And just like that he was ready to go. My little man wearing the clothes he had put together so carefully left with a hand in each of his sister's and he set out for the bus stop. This is another keeper to be filed in my moments to remember forever folder.

He allowed me to follow. For a minute anyway. Then I was instructed to let him walk on his own. It was of course one of the things that he has been waiting for since forever. So he gave me a hug and off he went.

I was a bit sneaky though. I piled my things and myself into the car and I drove down to the bus stop. I wanted to witness his entire experience for myself. He was okay with it. He stood patiently in line for about 30 seconds or so and then started complaining that the bus was never going to show up. I'm sure you can just imagine his tone and the way the word never slowly drug off of his lips. This my friends is his "I'm tired of waiting here all day" look. Priceless I know.

And as quickly as I snapped that picture the bus roared around the corner, and Doop was beyond excited.

That lasted for a minute until the roar reached his hearing aids and he quickly slapped his hands over his ears.

Lou was there to console him though. She quietly slipped her hand on his back and reassured him that all would be well, and as fast as I blinked my eyes the bus stopped and he climbed on board with Seej leading the way and Lou bringing up the rear. Seej found a seat right up front, and I watched her and Lou fold him in between them nice and safe for his first trip on the bus. They waved to me as the bus pulled away, and I knew the day would be good. I have been a little apprehensive for this day to arrive. I have felt this way for several reasons, but it came anyway, and with it came an overwhelming stillness as I watched my girls take care of my boy. I know he is in good hands. I know I have no need to worry, and I'm glad that the day he has been waiting for finally arrived. It came, and it was oh so good.

Fading Away

2011-08-28T17:03:00.000-07:00

Summer is fading fast. It seems that it just arrived and it's already slipping away. Maybe I'm feeling this way even more this week because my girls started school, and maybe it's even a bigger kick in the gut that my little man will soon be headed off with them. As this summer quickly comes to an end I feel like it's literally slipping through my fingers. In a way it's a good feeling. I can sift through the really good parts and hold on to them. This is a summer that I will remember. Although we didn't get to follow through on all of the big plans that we had devised when spring was still upon us, we did make some great memories.

This will forever be the summer that I remember riding bikes with my family. JM in the front, hooligans in the middle, and me bringing up the rear. It's a first, and it definitely won't be a last. This is the summer I will forever remember my little boy hearing his flip flops clicking on his thick feet for the very first time. I will remember his hand in mine and the excitement on his sweet little face as he looked up at me in astonishment. This will be the summer that I remember horseback riding and really loving it for the first time in a really long time, and doing it with my whole family all in tow. This is the summer I will remember my girl Seej pitching as if she had pitched her whole life on her very first time at the mound. Just thinking about that evening gets my eyes a little cloudy. This is the summer I will remember my little girl Lou turning into a fish in the pool. I can't believe the intensity with which her love for the water has grown. It makes me excited to see what her next summer will be like. This is the summer I will remember taking my mom and dad to the movies not once, but twice. In all my years on this earth this is the very first time I have seen a movie in the theatre with them, and it was beyond awesome. The images of my kids sharing popcorn with my dad and of my mom holding his hand are forever burned in my heart and my mind. This is the summer I will remember JM holding me up again and again and again, and I will remember how close we have become because of it. This will be the summer that I remember enduring and coming out ahead in the end because although it was hard and intense, it was amazing at the same time. This is the summer I will remember growing in so many ways I almost can't conceive it. This is the summer I am grateful to have experienced, and as this season closes I look forward to what the next one has in store. I'm grateful that it's fading. It has caused me to really sit down and reflect upon it one more time, and I realize what a wonderful summer it really has been. This is the summer that will soon fade completely, and this is the summer that I will walk away from being a better person. The season will fade, but the memories I made and the lessons I learned definitely will not.

Soaking It Up

2011-08-26T05:00:00.000-07:00

Sadly enough our summer is winding down. Slowly but surely it is coming to an end. Although Fall is my very favorite season, I don't think I'm ready for it this year. The summer was just getting good for us. Two of my hooligans just refuse to let summer go though. Lou is the ringleader in this movement. I swear if she could hold a sign and join a picket group over it she would. She is determined to soak up every last drop of warmth that the sunshine has to offer, and she is doing it in her regular headstrong Lou style. She is still swimming every day. Last weekend when the storm decided to hang out right above our heads she just dove to the bottom. She came up for air every now and then and told us she would just wait it out at the bottom of the pool. It's probably the same place we'll find her when the time comes around to drain it. She is a summer girl through and through. She is in her element when she can run barefoot through the grass and eat fresh vegetables right out of the garden. Most days I can find her chasing butterflies in the last shadows of the sun. It's just one of the many reasons I love her so much. She has value for the season and she finds ways to squeeze every bit of enjoyment out of her short summer days.

And if I can find Lou chasing butterflies in the late evening sun, you know I will find Doop running right behind her. He is her first assistant in everything she does, which means that he was willing to wait the storm out at the bottom of the pool too. He just can't hold his breath as long. :) Man I love these two!

Packages

2011-08-24T05:00:00.000-07:00

I've had a few ups and downs this summer and sometimes life has simply been just hard. Hard for my little world anyway, and recently I have been finding my way out of the fog. I have been on the path to brighter days. As you know I've been noticing things lately. I've been noticing little things, and just how much they matter. I have recently been the recipient of several kind acts. They have come in the form of different packages and wrappings, and I think because I have been paying attention I have noticed things that I might not have otherwise. I have been in need of this kindness, and I don't think those people that so softly brushed up against my spirit with their kind words and deeds had any idea how needed they really were. Like when I went outside and found this beautiful flower with a large yellow bow wrapped around it safely tucked in place on my front porch. There was no note attached, and no sign of who left it there. For a minute it was camoflauged with the rest of my porch decorations, but the happy yellow bow shouted for my attention and I knew my day was going to be good. I'm not sure why they chose to leave it for me, but the part I do know is that someone thought about me and went out of their way to let me know that I mattered. For whatever reason I mattered and that felt good. Each day when I come home now I notice this flower. It's waiting for me reminding me that life is good, and each time I'm reminded I feel that soft brushing against my spirit one more time.

We had another kind visitor stop by our home earlier this week. She said that she just felt like she needed to stop by and see us. She didn't know why, but she needed to stop and let us know that she cared. She brought along with her some very special cookies that were fresh out of the oven and she also brought with her that same kindess that I felt earlier. That familiar soft brushing against my spirit happened once again and this time it wrapped around me and stayed just a little longer. She may not have known why she came, but I do. She came because I needed her to. She came because I needed her kindness. She came to share her light with someone who needed it, and that someone was me. She left just as delightfully as she came and when she did she left a bit of that light behind. Our home was a bit brighter and each time I looked at those cookies resting comfortably on my counter I smiled. She had no idea how much she lifted my day. I am so grateful that she was willing to share.

I have learned that kindness comes in all sorts of packages. It doesn't have to be a tangible gift to be given. Kindness is simple. Like when the cashier at the store carried a full conversation with me while she rang up my groceries. I've never seen her before, but she immediately took a genuine interest in wanting to know more about who I was. By the time I left I felt like we were firm and fast friends and I felt that familiar soft brushing on my spirit again. She didn't have to be so kind, but her warm smile and her continued chatter made me feel good. I hope I can do this same thing for others. I hope that my children will learn to do it as well. We all need to feel that soft brushing on our spirits, and we all have that opportunity to make someone else feel it too. It doesn't take much, but it does take effort. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. About how I can make a difference and consciously be aware of what I can do to brighten someones day. I came across this quote that I think is wonderful and I've been trying to keep it in the forefront of my mind. "It is not the magnitude of our actions that matters, but the amount of love that is put into them that matters." -Mother Teresa

Kindness comes in all sorts of packages. I hope I can share my light with someone every day. I hope I can help someone else feel that soft brushing across their spirit and help them to know that they matter. I can't tell you how grateful I am for those who have done it for me.

I Am Happy

2011-08-23T05:00:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since we have taken a photo for our self-image awareness journey. Seej has done so much growing over the past few months. When I look at her it's like I see a whole different person in front of me. She is becoming a young lady. A little miss who I truly love spending time with. Her kindness and good heart remain, but beyond that there is more. She has a love for life and a love for learning, and a love for the new directions that her life is headed in. She is excited for the upcoming school year and the new opportunities that are in front of her. When I asked her to choose what our theme for this image would be she quickly came up with "I Am Happy". She is right where she wants to be in her life right now and that is evident in the peace that emanates from her. When I sat across from her to take this picture I could see it. Right before my eyes I could see her happiness, and my heart wanted to scream and dance for her. It has been a long journey for her to get to this place, and I hope that she will do whatever it takes to hold onto it. It hasn't happened by chance, but rather through hard work on her part. Finding her smile has not been easy, but this is her true smile and I can't tell you how happy I am to see it.

A Noticer

2011-08-21T05:00:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago my family and I went to the County Fair. It's something we do together every year. The hooligans look forward to entering contests, watching the rodeo, and seeing the animals among other fun attractions. I usually always take my camera, but as I mentioned earlier I've been a bit lazy as of late. On the last night of our visit at the fair I decided I should take it with me. I'm so glad I did. When we arrived we found a spot under a large tent to watch the talent show. It was muggy and hot and because we were a bit late, there weren't any chairs left to sit on. We huddled up together on a spot in the crunchy grass and started watching the show. As the evening grew later, more and more people arrived. A soft breeze picked up that cooled us off and eventually the crowd began to scatter. We quickly located enough chairs to accommodate our family and waited after the talent show for the hypnotist to arrive. The hooligans get a good laugh watching him, and it was our purpose in attending on this night. I decided that the break was the perfect opportunity to get my camera out.

I didn't really have a purpose in mind when I set out with it in my hand, but as always my mind quickly started turning as soon as I put the viewfinder to my eye. I started noticing things. I noticed how many people were roaming around, and I noticed they all had their own agendas. I noticed how busy this one spot on the earth had become, and I noticed how the sounds and light added to the energy of it all. I noticed that even though we were all in the same place that really we weren't all in the same space at all. Each person I passed was in their own little world doing their own thing hardly noticing anything else around them. People were shopping from tent to tent, and people were waiting in long lines for pricey fair food. People were searching for entertainment, and some people were even providing it. Beyond the fence the small carnival was attracting people as well with the buzzing of the lights and the whirling of the rides. People were flocking there in droves, but then I noticed something beyond that and once I noticed it I couldn't stop looking. As I wandered around in that short period of time I noticed that the soft breeze had picked up. The wind was now tossing my hair, and beyond the bright lights of the carnival rides the sky was a beautiful purple. Eventually the soft purples were drowned out with more angry tones as a storm blew in and landed directly over us. Everything looked brilliant against this dramatic backdrop, and it made me wonder how many others noticed it. I wondered if the girl on the rock climbing wall had any idea how beautiful the sky was on the other side, and I wondered if those cheering her on below had any idea either. I wondered if any of those people walking away from the carnival rides had noticed it before they turned their backs and walked into the wind. I wondered if those busy deal finders at the huge sale tent lifted their heads long enough to see such an amazing sight. I hope it grabbed the attention of at least of a few of them. I was glad I had my camera because it definitely grabbed mine. It's one of the reasons that carrying my camera is such a blessing. It helps me slow down, and it helps me to be a noticer. It gets thoughts rolling around in my head and it helps me enjoy things that I might not notice otherwise. I'm happy that it's something I've discovered because the world is a much more interesting and beautiful place when I slow down to notice things.

Lazy

2011-08-19T19:43:00.001-07:00

I've been a bit lazy lately. I have let things slip here and there, and I've had a difficult time focusing my thoughts and attention on any one single thing. I think I had too much whirling around in my head. I needed a minute to get things in order and map things out. I always function better when I have a course of action, a purpose, and a direction to run in. My lazy time has served me well. I have slowed things down enough to get a plan in place. A new route to follow so to speak, and just in time too. Next week the crazy chaos of life will begin once again when the hooligans head off for school. New challenges will arise, and the busyness will ramp up one more time. This is inevitable, and because it is we took time out this past week to have some time alone as a family. Before we all scatter and head our separate ways we decided to find a secluded spot and just relax. We had a few small adventures in our time away, but we mostly just enjoyed each other and our time alone. It was peaceful. It was relaxing. It was much needed, and it was well worth it. We are getting back to basics around here, and getting back to basics means holding on to the simple things. It's familiar and it's good, and when all else fails it's what I know how to do best. The simplicity of this place alone brought peace to my heart, and being lazy has revitalized me and left me feeling refreshed. I guess being lazy is just necessary sometimes.

A Team Effort

2011-08-12T06:30:00.000-07:00

We have been working hard at our house. We are helping my little man prepare for his first year of school. It has become one big team effort between the entire family. Just a couple of months ago we learned that he has significant hearing loss (you may have noticed those cool looking black things in his ears in the last post. Those are his new hearing aids). I couldn't believe it. He talks really well, and he talks a lot. I never would have known that he was missing out on half of the sounds that the rest of us hear throughout the day. This hearing loss has not only prevented him from hearing, but it has slowed his learning down significantly as well. So now here we are with school approaching in the next couple of weeks and we are playing catch up. I literally mean we are "playing" catch up. We have been playing ABC Bingo with him, and the ABSea game, as well as watching the Letter Factory. We have all been putting in an effort to help him adjust to his new ears and learn all that he has been missing out on. It has been hard for him, but this concentrated effort has been good for all of us. Seej has taken a bit of a lead on this one. She is dreaming of becoming a teacher someday. It's perfect for her, and she has done so well working with her brother. Lou on the other hand provides the much needed entertainment he needs during his learning breaks. Like Seej, she is perfect at this job and he looks forward to his time with each of them. JM and I have been working with him any chance we get as well. We try to play letter games when we are out and about and that seems to be a good way for him to show us what he is learning.

This whole situation has been very insightful to me. It's like we have this unwritten list of things that constantly need to be done, but when we learned of his hearing loss and his need for our help, everything on the list was shoved to the bottom and he quietly landed on the top. That's exactly how it should be. It made me think back to Lilo & Stitch when she always said that Ohana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind. That is so right. We are his soft place to fall right now. We are his team. We will not allow him to be lost in the shuffle, and we will do whatever it takes for him to feel good about going to school. I don't ever want to leave those double doors out front with his hand in mine listening to him cry and say he is dumb the way he did two weeks ago, and he will stay at the top of our priority list as long as he needs to. It's what families do, and one day he will be playing a different role on our little team. He will become the soft place for one of us to fall. He will become the one that we lean on during difficulty. That's what the team effort is all about. Each player is important, and each player has value. We are all MVP's here and for him that definitely means success, because on this team nobody gets left behind.

Getting Back On

2011-08-08T21:14:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we took the hooligans to the arena to ride horses. It's one of the activities we enjoy doing together as a family. I've been around horses my whole life. When I was a young girl I spent hours and hours outside in the barn with my dad. I have fond memories of the beautiful animals that called our place home. The smell of the saddle blankets, the dust, and most of all the way dad looked when he spent time working with them. He loved it. It was like home for him. It was my favorite place to spend the evening. I started riding when I was very young. Dad would put me on the back of a horse and lead me around in circles in the pasture, and I remember how freeing it felt every time. Once when I was around 6, dad could tell how much fun I was having and he started to run in circles with me trailing behind on the horse. I could feel myself slipping to one side, but I didn't want to disappoint him and I thought I could get myself back on without him knowing. I was wrong. I fell to the ground hard and the horse kept going right over the top of me stepping on the inside of my upper thigh. It hurt. A lot. As much as it hurt, dad made me get back on. He made me get back on right that very minute. I didn't understand at the time. During my ride back to the barn I cried the entire way. Mom quickly helped me into the house so we could see how bad it was, and sure enough, I had a perfect horseshoe imprint on the inside of my leg. I was branded with the mark of my mistake. It was completely black and of course seeing it only made it hurt worse. I still didn't understand why my dad made me ride back to the barn. I wouldn't understand until years later.

I continued to ride after that day, and I continued to love it and then one day years later my horse got a little spooked. I fell off and this time instead of getting stepped on he flipped over and landed on top of me. That pretty much sums up the major accident I had 17 years ago. One minute I was fine and the next I was not. This is when I learned the real importance of getting back on. I've been around horses my entire life, and I've always felt at home. This day changed things for me. I was scared. For the first time I was scared to ride, and more than that I was scared to even be around horses and I hated that. After a very long recovery I kept thinking about that day when I was young and how my dad made me get back on. As much as it hurt back then, and as scared as I was, it was important for me to get back on and do it again, and my dad knew it. I knew it was something I needed to do again this time, and once again it was painful and it was scary but I did it. It was important for me to know that I could return to doing things that I loved. It was important for me to understand that having strength and courage to do hard things would push me to enjoy life again. It was important to conquer my fear and not allow myself to become defeated. It was important for me to get back on because getting back on meant moving on for me. It was hard. Harder than I thought it would be, and honestly I still get a little nervous when I ride. I'm so glad I did it though. I'm glad I did it for many reasons. Thinking back on this experience through difficult times now in my life reminds me that I can do hard things. It reminds me that if I set my mind on doing something and if I have the courage to try and do my best that really the outcome can only feel good. It reminds me that I have choices. I have the opportunity to decide to move on, or to dwell on pain and fear and those are negative emotions that I don't want to experience if I have the choice. It reminds me that I can learn from a painful experience and try again having more knowledge and wisdom for the next round. It also helps me to teach my children that they should never give up, and that they never know what they can accomplish until they do it. I can't imagine my life without horses in it, and the combination of the hooligans and horses is even better. I hope they always get back on. I hope when life knocks them down they get up and dust themselves off and get back on and try again. They are already learning to do hard things, and they are already succeeding at conquering their fears. I'm not sure they know it yet, but at some point they will understand the lesson of getting back on just like I eventually did. Getting back on is important. Never giving up on dreams and goals is essential. I hope they never forget these things. I'm grateful that my dad taught me about getting back on. I'm glad that my tears didn't stop him from teaching me such an important lesson. Just look at the memories I would be missing out on if he wouldn't have.

A Good Life

2011-08-02T05:00:00.000-07:00

Today is my anniversary. No, not the one you're thinking of. On this day 17 years ago my life changed after a major accident. Today I will celebrate. Today I will live. Today I will stop looking behind me at yesterdays I don't want to remember and look ahead at the empty canvas ahead of me waiting for more memories to be painted upon it. Today I will have a heart full of gratitude for my life prior to this day all those years ago, and even more so for my life after that day because today I know how valuable the lessons I have learned are. Today I will cherish every minute of the sunlight. I will live this day with no regrets and fill it with time spent just the way I want. Today I will look at more simple things and know that this life is a gift. It is fragile, and it's much too short to wait for what might be. Today I will keep dreaming and I will do what it takes to make them come true. I will have the courage to do what is right and to share who I am with others because it's part of this gift. Today I will remember how I felt when I thought there wouldn't be a tomorrow and I will smile because this knowledge will help me to more thoroughly enjoy today. Today I will decide to keep my chin up and my head held high because I've come a long way in so many aspects of my life. Today I will hug each of my children and tell them how much I love them because there was a time when I didn't think I would ever have the opportunity to be a mother. Today I will show them my appreciation for who they are and for the joy they have brought to my life because they really do make the world turn around for me. Today I will hold JM's hand and I will let my best friend know how much he means to me because I realize that you never know when there might not be another opportunity. Today I will live and I will love it because life is good even when it's hard. Today I will push heartaches aside and continue becoming who I was meant to be. Today I will cherish the footprint of every person who has stepped in the pathway of my life because I have learned something from every single one of them. Today nothing will stand in my way of happiness because I am truly grateful for this good life, and I am even more grateful for the images that remind me of how good it is. It really just doesn't get much better than this.

Good Life from Marvett Smith on Vimeo.

Comfort

2011-07-31T17:28:00.000-07:00

We had a bit of a rough week last week around our parts, and by the end of the week I was exhausted. I was tired enough that I didn't want to do anything. All I really wanted was to find a nice quiet place to relax. I needed some comfort, and so I loaded up my family and headed out of town. We landed in a secluded spot where rest and relaxation are always waiting and we did just that. In this place I found comfort. In this place I found a bit of peace. In this place I was able to relax and take a break from the intensity of the week. The time with family, the delicious food, and being away was the best comfort I could have hoped to find, and while I was there I picked up my camera. I have discovered that next to photographing my family and our life, food is my next favorite subject to photograph. There's comfort in discovering this new obsession as well!

Summer Days

2011-07-27T23:00:00.000-07:00

Swimming, laughing, splashing and cooling off. These are the things that summer days are made of.

I Wonder

2011-07-23T08:05:00.000-07:00

I awoke from my warm slumber yesterday morning with this boy by my side. I'm not sure why he entered my room this time. To be honest I don't even remember him coming in. Whatever the reason, he didn't feel the need to wake me when he arrived. Instead he crawled into his usual spot and safely fell back asleep. He doesn't do this as often as he used to. He is growing up. He is facing life head on, but on occasion he still needs to feel the safety of my wing. These kind of mornings are my favorite. Waking up with the fresh morning air streaming in the window carrying the song of the birds brings a smile to my face before my eyes ever even open. Waking up with this boy by my side in the later morning hours means it's a "stay home day". It means there will be less running around and more time spent together, and those are just my favorite no matter what it is we do. On this morning I stayed in bed a little longer than usual and I marveled at his face. Such a young, handsome little man who has so much ahead of him in life. I wondered if he knows how much I love him. I wondered if he knows how proud of him I am for doing hard things. He has been through some difficult times lately and he is adjusting to some changes, but he has handled them all so well. I admire his resilience, and most of all his happy innocence. His trust in JM and I is unwaivering and that makes me love him even more. Sometimes he just has faith in us. Sometimes he just gets through hard things because we tell him it's what's best for him and he doesn't question it. He knows that we will be by his side, and that provides courage enough for him to continue. I wonder if he knows how brave I think he is, and I wonder if he has any idea how much he teaches me. I wonder if he knows how much I love being his mother and how much I value hearing his tender voice call me mom. I thought I would write it here in case he needs to read it on a rainy day when he's feeling low because let's face it, no matter how old we become we still have days when we need to feel that safety and comfort of our mother's wing. In case he ever wonders where he fits in this family, I want him to know he fits right here. Right by our side. Right here bringing us happiness and peace because it's what he does best and I don't ever want him to wonder.

Catching Fire

2011-07-21T05:00:00.000-07:00

This is where I've been spending my evenings. I've been sitting on a park bench drenched in the late golden hours of the sun. I have been dipping my bare feet in the cool, gritty sand reading the second in a series of good books. In the forefront the hooligans use up every single second of the lasting light to run, and sweat, and soak up the cool summer air. I can't help but pause to take a glance at them every now and then as they explore every inch of this environment. I think sometimes they forget that I'm there and my invisibility allows me to witness their sweet interaction, and I can't help but smile. I re-enter the adventure in my novel and time passes by until I feel a tug on my arm and I know it's time to go. We return home just as the sun begins catching fire and it's final flames light our pathway to home. It has become our new relaxing routine, and it's good enough that it bears repeating. It's becoming one of my favorite summer memories.

The Things We Did and The Things We Saw

2011-07-19T20:23:00.000-07:00

Well this is it. The last part of the images I'll be sharing here from our vacation. All the fun stuff we did and the beauty that we saw. I'll just let the images speak for themselves.

Simplicity

2011-07-17T21:09:00.001-07:00

"There is no greatness where there is not simplicity." -Leo Tolstoy

What We Ate

2011-07-13T21:29:00.000-07:00

This is Part 2 of our vacation last week. These are the things we ate. Eggs, potatoes, bacon, cheese, dessert, smores, hot dogs, corn, chicken, fish and many more yummy things. Just to clarify in case those of you who know me are shocked. I did not eat the fish. My family ate the fish. The only fish I eat are Swedish fish and Goldfish crackers. :) Anyway, our meals are one of my very favorite parts of our camping trips. I think it's one of my favorite parts simply because we actually eat dinner together. Often times during the week things get hectic and we rarely sit down as a family and eat dinner together. When we go camping we plan out what we will eat and we always enjoy it together. We also enjoy preparing it together from start to finish as you will see. So here it is. Our feast from last week. I must say that it was all delicious!

Believe it or not I still have more pictures to share. The things we did and the things we saw are coming up next!

Walking, Hiking, and Running

2011-07-11T17:00:00.000-07:00

We went on our first vacation of the summer last week. Camping is our thing. We like to go several times throughout the summer. It's so nice to get away and be on our own in the fresh air. I took plenty of pictures of our time together. Too many for one blog post, so I will be breaking them up into parts. This is part 1. We did a lot of this last week. Walking, hiking and running. We walked next to the lake.

We walked to the lake.

We walked around the lake.

The hooligans ran up and down the mountain next to our camp site. (Yes. They all fell down at least once. Notice the rocks and logs? We used many band-aids on this trip.)

We hiked on a beautiful path that took us to a waterfall.

We also stopped once in a while and held still. We saw many beautiful things and ate delicious food, but those things are coming in another post. There are just too many pictures to share all at one time, and don't worry, I did get a picture of the lake that we walked to, and I also got a picture of the waterfall. Again, those will be coming soon. I just wanted you to know I'm still alive and sifting through many pictures. :)

My Time

2011-07-03T08:33:00.000-07:00

This bright pink moss rose caught my eye a few evenings ago. It seemed so beautiful there with the light resting upon it even though it was virtually alone. It seems like lately I have heard so many kind words from the people in my life. Maybe it's because I've had my tuner set to that frequency, but even amidst the kindness I feel a bit isolated. That feeling is due to my own choices. I've been standing on my own trying to decide which way to go, and I have finally realized that no matter which way I choose to turn I will be embraced with kindess and understanding. I think it took some time alone for me to get it, but I do now and I want to say thank you. I can't even begin to count the number of times you have made me feel like this rose with the light shining upon it.

And now that I have made some tough decisions I plan on moving forward. I plan on spending lots of time with my hooligans and working on my goals because there are still tough decisions ahead on my path. There is also lots of laughter, smiles and hugs waiting for me around the bend. I've experienced a bit of that lately as well and there just isn't anything that fills my bucket as much as spending time with my family. I might be a little scarce around here for a bit, but it's because I'm making new memories with them. Don't worry. I will take lots of pictures and share them here when I return because right now it's my time and I can't think of any better way that I would like to spend my time than with them.

And just so we end this on a brighter note here's a little Spongebob Squarepants for your day because sometimes swimming in your skivvies is just what happens when you are that excited to get in the pool for the first time in the summer! My little man would be overwhelmed with embarrassment if he knew I was sharing this image. Let's just keep this between you and me mmkay? ;)

Clue

2011-06-28T16:48:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday I spent the day playing with my kids. Among our adventures Seej and I pulled out the old game of Clue. I got it one year for Christmas when I was a kid, and all these years later my mom has been storing it on a shelf in her garage. Just looking at the box made me smile. We took it into the backyard and set it up on a small table to play in the shade under a big tree.

Our goal was to figure out what was in this little envelope marked confidential. You know. Who committed the crime? What room did it happen in, and what weapon was used?

For a while I thought I had it. I was just certain that Mrs. Peacock was the leading suspect.

And I was pretty sure that she did it with a candlestick. In the Billiard Room.

But apparently I was wrong.

And then Seej had her turn.

And come to find out it was really Colonel Mustard. Yes. She kicked my butt. He did it in the study with the candlestick. At least I knew what the weapon was!

The Moments That Matter Most

2011-06-25T21:19:00.000-07:00

Last night Seej and I spent the evening at a very special event. We spent the evening photographing The Relay For Life.

It was so inspiring and so moving to see so many who had survived cancer, and also so many who were there to raise money on behalf of a loved one who had not. They were there to make a difference. It opened my eyes and refreshed a perspective for me that I sometimes lose in the hustle and bustle of life. On this night seeing so many determined to raise funds for a cure for cancer pushed me even more in the direction of realigning my priorities. It brought to the forefront of my mind the moments that matter most.

And so on the day following our evening with those battling, surviving, and fighting cancer, I spent the day in moments that matter most. I remembered that the laundry would wait and the house would still be standing whether it was clean or not, and also that the grocery store is actually open during the week and I created new memories. I went horseriding with the hooligans. I sat under a shade tree with the cool breeze blowing on my back and watched them cool off in the pool until their teeth were chattering. I played a game of Clue with Seej (or two or three), and I watched them all work together in the garden to make sure that it continues growing. I smiled at Doop as he entertained himself with his own tractor and we all shared ice cream sundaes and lime rickeys. We used every stitch of the sunlight spending time together because this was the day we could do it. These are the moments that matter most. The things that we did and said to one another on this day right down to the good night hug and kiss that Doop gave me are the things that matter most. The reality is that we never know when we may not have anymore time to spend doing these things. We never know what's waiting around the corner for us, and these are the days we will remember. These kind of moments are the ones I will be happy that I have chosen to spend my time on. I am grateful that I have been reminded of this because today was absolutely wonderful.

Here is one last thought for you on this subject. I could never say it more perfect than this short video does. I just love this message so much. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Sometimes Dreams Really Do Come True

2011-06-23T06:00:00.001-07:00

Today Statement #157:

Today I will cheer for my little girl. I will encourage her to stay positive and do her best because really that's all she can do, and I want to see a smile on her face when what she has been dreaming of becomes a reality.

She did it. Last week my girl who usually plays 1st base got to pitch her first game. She is the third string pitcher and has been working her guts out to pitch in a game, and last week she did it. She was nothing short of amazing. She pitched 4 innings and they only got one hit off of her. She was in the zone, and it put a smile on my face to watch not only her dream of finally getting the opportunity come true, but to watch her knock that opportunity right out of the ballpark. I couldn't have been more proud!

(I have so many more pictures of this to share soon!)

Care Bears and Cowboy Boots

2011-06-18T21:28:00.000-07:00

I took my hooligans for a walk last week. Seej and I were exploring and Lou and Doop joined us on their bikes. On our way home Seej and I were lingering too long for Lou and Doop's taste and so they headed back to grandma's. Of course they raced the entire way, and Seej and I frantically screamed at them to get out of the road every time a car came by. When we finally arrived this is what I found.

My little man was drinking cool lemonade and telling JM about our walk. He was drinking lemonade from a Care Bear glass. Cheer Bear to be exact. I had forgotten about these glasses. I had forgotten that when I was young we ate at Pizza Hut once a week for 2 months trying to collect all of the Care Bear glasses they were offering. It was a big deal because of course the Care Bears were a big deal back then. It was exciting to see which glass we would get next, and still after all these years my mom still has them hanging out in her cupboard. My kids know who the Care Bears are. They watch them too. I think they like them almost as much as I did when I was a kid. I'm so glad that there are some things that don't change, and I'm so glad my mom has kept these glasses around for all of these years. The sight of Doop drinking out of this glass combined with his favorite cowboy boots is an image that will be stuck in my head forever. I hope it brings back sweet memories for him when he is older too.

Couples

2011-06-16T05:00:00.000-07:00

The assignment for Picture Inspiration class this week was couples. I really struggled with it. It could be any kind of couple. People, two of the same object, or two of something different. The point of the assignment was to artfully pose the couple to show their connection. Hmm... after much contemplating this is what I came up with. A spoon and a fork. They seemed like a likely couple, and Seej and I thought it would be fun to make a wedding party for the couple with their supporters in the background. We chose some who were tall and slender and some who were short and stout. We also chose some that were a little more ornate. So true to life, right? I think they make a beautiful couple myself, and the best part of the assignment was all of the laughing that Seej and I did while setting this shot up. She was embarrassed every time a car passed by observing us tinkering around with these spoons. I guess they did look a little weird all dressed up in the garden, but all of the ogling we received was well worth it. It turned out just as I had hoped. There wouldn't be any fun in doing the assignment if we didn't add a little creativity to it. :)

Kickball

2011-06-14T05:00:00.000-07:00

Last week we took an evening and hogged the time all to ourselves. It's been a while since we've done that. It's been a while since we've done that without an agenda anyway. It was warm outside and the light was so pretty and we took our little family to the park to play in it. We took our kickball to the park and played in the grass as the cotton floated in the air around us. We kicked it to each other and we kicked it high in the air and we laughed, and after a while we separated in the park and did our own thing. Lou and Doop made their way to the swings and the merry-go-round where they giggled loudly like they always do. I of course grabbed my camera because the light was too beautiful to resist, and Seej and JM continued to play ball. Watching their interaction made me smile. I used to do the same thing with my dad when I was young. When I started playing volleyball and basketball for real, my dad would stay outside for hours with me practicing. He would chase the ball as many times as I would shoot it or hit it and he never complained. When I wanted to stop because I wasn't doing well, he wouldn't let me quit. He pushed me to keep going and he not only helped me become a better athlete, but he developed a relationship with me while doing it. I won't ever forget all the time he spent with me. JM is doing the same thing with Seej. From soccer to pitching the softball he is helping her get better and he is developing a relationship with her. There just isn't a relationship that compares much to a dad and a daughter in my book. Well, other than a mother and her little man. :)

Super Sitter

2011-06-11T09:06:00.000-07:00

Today Statement #148:

Today I will spend the day with my girl. I will take her to work with me and we will share lunch in the sunshine because that sounds like a beautiful way to spend my day.

Seej came to work with me to take a Super Sitter class last week. It seems like just yesterday I was holding her in my arms and now she is learning to take care of other people's children. I can't believe how fast time goes by and how much she has grown. I am so proud of her. She is so responsible. As soon as we got home she started studying all of the information they gave her. She wants to do things right, and I love that about her. She is going to make one great babysitter. If I weren't afraid of my two younger hooligans tying her up and locking her in the closet I would have her babysit at my own house. Maybe someday I will be able to trust them with her. ;)

I Wanted to Cry

2011-06-09T05:00:00.000-07:00

He did it. As you already know my little man did it. He made it through his very first graduation.

I can't even begin to tell you how proud I was of him on this day. This has been a tough year for him. It's been tough from start to finish. On day one he held onto my leg and he cried. The crocodile tears leaked from his eyes and he cried out for me as they peeled him from my leg and I left him at school on his very first day. It was awful, and yet he needed to do it. He needed to know that he would be safe and that he could make friends and that it would be okay. As tough as it was he did it. For almost six months we repeated this same routine over and over and as awful as it continued to be he did it. Even on this day, his last day, he struggled. He began to panic as the graduation ceremony started. He doesn't enjoy being in front of other people. It is scary for him, but as much as he didn't want to do this he did. Once again he pulled his bootstraps up and did it even though it was really hard, and when he walked across the front of that room to get his diploma I wanted to cry.

With the official graduation over we all headed outside for the balloon ceremony. The school allows all of the graduates to release a yellow balloon to represent a fresh start. It symbolizes them moving on to bigger and better things and the sky is the limit. This part of the program was a little more exciting for Doop. This is a place where he could mix in with the crowd and not be as noticed, but that didn't keep me from watching his every move. He relaxed once he was hidden inside the group and he started to have fun, and when I saw his excitement over his hard earned accomplishment I wanted to cry.

As he waited for the teacher to give him the final word to let go, he started talking with his friends. He started laughing and sharing his anticipation with one little friend in particular.

He looked at her and he giggled.

They squealed with anticipation as they waited to let their balloons go.

He relaxed and he had fun and I watched how happy he was with the friends he worked so hard to make, and once again I wanted to cry.

And finally the time came when the teacher called out that it was time to release the balloons. As fast as the words came out of her mouth I saw Doop close his eyes and his fingers sprang apart. Just like that his balloon floated away. Just like that he turned and he watched it drift into the sky, and as he did it his face beamed. It beamed with dreams and possibilities as he watched that yellow balloon fade away, and my heart skipped a beat as I realized it's getting closer and closer to my own time to let go. Happiness and sadness overwhelmed me all at the same time as I watched my boy take one step closer to growing up and one more time I wanted to cry.

He ran back to my side when his balloon was gone and he proudly asked me if I had witnessed what he had. I hugged him tight and he gave me a thumbs up, and we quickly moved on to the refreshment line.

He tugged at my leg and then whispered in my ear and he asked if I would take a picture of him with Teacher Maria. Teacher Maria was the main teacher in his classroom, but she didn't work on the day that Doop attended school. She did visit with him several times though, and in those very few visits my little man fell in love with her. Her kindness, her smile and her sincerity won him over and watching him squirm over her made me smile. Teacher Maria's eyes filled with tears when he asked for a picture with her. She was touched that he was so smitten with her in such a short amount of time and seeing the way it made her feel made me want to cry.

When all was said and done Doop's only disappointment was that his real teacher was not in attendance. She was working at the school that day. She was teaching the younger students while he was graduating, but on our way out he got the best surprise of the day. Teacher Jan came. She came at the very end of graduation and he quickly ran to greet her. It took some persuading, but he talked her into a picture with him as well. They sat on a bench under a tree and they quickly began talking about the day. It was like watching old friends who had to catch up after a long time apart. He told her stories and she laughed. She laughed with a sincerity and love that touched my heart. I could see her love for my boy in her interaction with him and this time I couldn't hold back anymore. I cried. I cried with gratitude for her willingness to take care of him, and because she went the extra mile to make him feel safe every time they peeled him from my leg. I cried because she is special and so is her relationship with Doop. I won't ever forget her and I know he won't either.

It was a good day, and I was so happy to share each and every second with my boy. I am so proud of him for going to school. I am so proud of him for graduating. I am so proud of him for learning that he can do hard things. This is just the first step for him in many exciting things to come, and although thinking about those things makes me want to cry I can't wait to stand by his side as he accomplishes big things because that's exactly where I will be. Holding back the tears and beaming with pride. I love you Doop. You did so good!

In the Distance

2011-06-06T21:48:00.001-07:00

It's been a really long time since I have joined in on the fun at I Heart Faces. Their theme for this week is "In the Distance". The description of the theme stated that the person in the photo needed to either be in the distance, or walking away. I tend to be more of an up close shooter, but the second part of the theme was what caught my eye. This image came back to my mind as a favorite of my three hooligans walking away. I think this is one of the pictures that will remain on my desk for a very long time. So much has changed since I took this picture and at the same time so much has remained the same. They are still taking care of one another just the way they are here. Although their bodies have grown in size, so has their need to stick together. Sure they fight now and then. They are of course human, but when the going gets tough this is how they are with one another. Hand in hand ready to face things together. I hope this bond only gets stronger with time. They are going to need each other throughout their lives. This will forever be one of my favorite "walking away" images. To see more photos click on the link below.

Our Days

2011-06-04T21:25:00.000-07:00

Our days have been filled with many things lately. We have spent random chunks of time together as we have been adjusting to new hours and different schedules. One of my favorite parts of this adjustment has included our time in the evenings. Last week we went exploring. I have this slight obsession with lilacs, and believe it or not we discovered a version I have never seen before. I was a bit fascinated with their beauty, and so was little Doop. They have become my new favorite.

Our days have included plenty of this beautiful evening light. I love how sparkly it gets in the evening and the way it lights up the beauty that the bountiful rain has brought.

Our days have also included time spent with friends and time making new ones. The hooligans spent a whole evening playing with this little visitor. My was she cute.

And because the rains have finally slowed down, our days have been filled with lots of sunshine. The best part is that it's just the beginning. Spring is coming to an end and summer is just going to start. That thought alone makes me smile. It means more memories are just waiting right around the corner.

What Good Days Are Made Of

2011-06-02T05:00:00.000-07:00

Good days are made up of many things in my book. It starts with birds chirping in the morning as the sun rises for a new day. It includes waking up in crisp cool sheets and stretching before getting out of bed. It continues with the waking of the hooligans and their early morning whispers of what adventures the day has in store for them. It involves laughter with friends, and bumping into those I haven't seen in ages and being greeted with a warm smile. My favorite part of a good day is when it's time to go home from work. Rolling the windows down and letting the wind whip through my hair is especially relaxing after a long day spent inside. Neighborhood kids riding scooters and playing tag greet me with their laughter as I reach the road for home and then the best part of the good day really begins. A make shift dinner with the family just in time to spend the rest of the evening in the last sparkling drops of the sun. On occasion this includes bare toes in the grass and little hands grasping fruit loops. Though the moments fade fast, they make the day good. These are the things I think about as the crickets harmoniously wrap their song into my ears when I climb back into the sheets that have patiently been awaiting my return. This is definitely what good days are made of.

One Proud Mom

2011-05-31T05:00:00.000-07:00

Today Statement #137:

Today I will watch my little man graduate. I will smile when he looks at me and I will tell him how proud of him I am because this has been a tough year for him and I want him to know that I love him always.

He did it. He graduated. I will be posting the whole event very soon.

Tab

2011-05-28T03:00:00.000-07:00

We had a lunch meeting at work a couple of weeks ago and when the catering department delivered our lunch there was a can of Tab mixed in with the sodas. I couldn't believe it. A can of Tab was such a blast from the past for me.

When I was young, my mom worked at the school. She worked in the lunch room. It was hard labor, and a very physically demanding job. She was up and off to work very early in the morning to prepare the food for the day, and she was always waiting for me to come home before I got off of the school bus. I don't think I realized when I was younger how much I truly appreciated this. I took it for granted that she was always there. Each day I came home to a clean house, and to my mom who had just spent a long day at work and was still working when I walked through the front door at home. She was washing the clothes or hanging them on the line out back, or preparing dinner, which by the way was always served at 5 p.m. She went above and beyond. She did it all. Now that I am a mom I realize how hard she really did work. I realize the sacrifices that she made, and how important my time was with her. I'm a working mom now, and every day I carry guilt with me. It's my constant companion. The pace of my life and my circumstances don't allow me to accomplish all that she did, but as much as I struggle with the way things are and as much as I long for a time when I can be the mother that she was, at least I have a consolation prize. My children spend time with her now just the way that I did when I was young. They watch her work, and they stand by her side and help her to do it. They learn from her and they get a taste of what my childhood was like, and for now that brings me a bit of peace.

One of my favorite things to think back on in my childhood is the summers that I spent with my mom. Being a lunch lady meant that she was off for the summer, but not really. During the summer when I was young my mom took a job at the school helping to care for the grounds. We spent all summer long together outside the school caring for the fresh green grass. Her job specifically was to turn the sprinklers on and rotate them. We rode together on a four wheeler with a box of sprinklers and made sure that every blade was watered and taken care of. We were outside together under the sun driving through the mist of the sprinklers and laughing as we did it. I thoroughly enjoyed my time with her, and I remember how important she made me feel by allowing me to help. I know how my mom feels about taking care of the yard. I know where it ranks on her list of priorities and she let me help. It was a big deal, and still to this day I haven't forgotten how much I enjoyed it and how elevated I felt because she allowed me to share it with her. It's something I now try hard to do with my own kids.

The other part of this experience with my mother that I distinctly remember was when we took our breaks. We would retreat from the sun and step inside of the school to cool off and give our bodies a break. Whenever we did this we shared Wheat Thin crackers and my mom always drank an ice cold Tab. The can was sweaty in her hand and I remember how it always looked so refreshing to her. Like it hit the spot just right. Each time she would drink it I would always ask for a taste and each time my tongue would quickly curl up as the soda soaked into it. It was awful. I never liked it. Never. No matter how many times I tried it, but when I saw this can a couple of weeks ago I couldn't help but smile. Even though I never liked it myself, it reminds me of my mom. That pink can reminds me of a time in my life that was wonderful. It takes me back in time, and unlocks details of a time with my mom that I had filed away in my mind. I hope there are things in my children's lives that trigger these kinds of memories for them too. I hope they are filing away the things they are doing with their grandmas while I'm at work. I hope they know how special their time with both of them is. I hope they cherish it forever, and every now and then I hope that something reminds them of me too. I hope they remember that even though their mom spent lots of time away from them between work and other obligations that she didn't always want to, and that her time with them was more precious than anything else she ever did. I hope that someday when they are grown and gone that they have memories like this one I have of my own mom to make them smile because this is how I remember my mom. Mowing the lawn at the crack of dawn under my bedroom window. Hanging the laundry outside every Saturday morning. Making dinners for us so we could all sit down and share what happened in our day, and last but not least drinking Tab. I think this is how my kids will remember my mom too because she is still doing all of these things (minus drinking the Tab). I'm so grateful this single can of soda was delivered to my work meeting. It was a meeting worth going to just for this.

A Day With My Dad

2011-05-26T05:00:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday we spent the day together. Sort of. JM took Lou and Doop fishing and I took Seej to spend the day with my dad. He has been struggling lately. The long hard winter and extended rains have been hard on him. He is in pain and not being able to go outside much makes things even harder for him. When things are hard for him it also means that things are hard for my mom. She doesn't get a lot of breaks, and she worries about him so on Saturday Seej and I spent the entire day with him. We gave my mom some time on her own and we kept my dad busy all day. We took him outside and went for a very long walk. My dad always enjoyed going for walks when I was younger. We would walk the loop next to the river and look at everything there was to see. There were always deer, and quail and sometimes we would see a fox, but it's been a long time since he's been able to do this. It's impossible now to take him on this same route in his wheelchair. The terrain is rough and uneven, and although our path can't be the same he still loves to see the river. Right now it is swollen and spilling over and he wanted to see it. Our walk was great in so many ways. We walked in the sun and the breeze blew on our backs. We talked and we went slow so he could take everything in. He noticed things he hadn't seen before and all along the way I taught Seej how to use my camera. She is excited to learn, and I am excited to teach her. After our walk we took my dad out to the garden. He hasn't seen the garden for several years now and I think it brought him peace to be in a place that he once spent so much time in. It was therapeutic and he directed Seej and I as we planted the corn. It was nice having him be part of our experience. It was special, and I'm so grateful that he was there. It was one of the best days I've had in a long time. We all needed it. Every one of us. This is what it looked like. Maybe you can feel how peaceful it was by looking at it. It's a great reminder for me.

(Seej planting radishes)

(Mustard Weed peeking through the fence with the flood waters lurking behind)

These next images were all taken by Seej. Just look how beautiful the world looks through her eyes.

Pace

2011-05-24T21:55:00.001-07:00

Lately I have been doing my best to change up the pace around here. I am trying to prioritize and I am learning to say no. It's not always easy. In fact, I think they are both habits that I need to learn and stick with. Our regular pace is fast and furious. There hasn't been a lot of time for smelling the roses and enjoying one another's company. We start the day fast and end at the same pace, and I am exhausted.

We literally run throughout our day just to accomplish everything, and most of the time I don't fit in the things I really should and need to. So I'm working on slowing down again. I need to spend my time wisely doing the things that are the most important to me. I need to keep things in perspective and prioritize based off of what I see. I started this last weekend and my was it a good feeling. Spending time in the right places with the right people doing the right things. Soaking in the warmth, watching my girl pretend to be an airplane with her toes in the grass and sharing the day with my parents. It's something I haven't done in a really long time. This pace feels much better.

Back To Basics

2011-05-21T05:00:00.000-07:00

Today Statement #130:

"Today I will challenge myself. I will step outside of my normal routine and return closer to the basics because that's where I belong."

I am getting back to basics. I am noticing my surroundings and enjoying time with my hooligans. Time slips away too fast and it's time that I return to the things I enjoy most. I took this image at my parents house in the backyard on the ditch bank. Memories of my childhood always flood my mind when I spend time here. It brings peace to my heart to be in such a beautiful place. It's a place that hasn't changed much over time, and although I have, I remember what makes me most happy. I have allowed things to creep into my day and steal time from the things I enjoy, and I won't be doing that anymore. It has been challenging to change my mindset, but returning to this place and noticing it's beauty have convinced me it's the right thing to do. Besides that nothing tops the laughter of my three favorite little people as well as spending time with my best friend. Nothing.

Staying True To Me

2011-05-19T05:00:00.000-07:00

The rain has returned. I don't think it's going to stop this week. It hasn't bothered me though. In fact, this has been one of the best weeks I have had in a very long time. Several things have me feeling this way. I decided at the beginning of this month to set a few new goals for myself. I have realized that lately I have slipped away from many of the things that I enjoy and I want to get back to them. Little by little each day I have been making progress. Although the changes I am making are very subtle I am happy with myself for making them. It might be baby steps, but it's progress, and it makes me feel good. It's like that feeling of returning home after a long trip away. The familiarity is comfortable and it reminds me that being me is the best thing I can do. Doing the things that I do best and being happy with it is a good feeling. I think I'm finally figuring out what those things are, and it feels good to find that spot to settle into. No more reaching for things that I have determined I really don't want after all, but I will continue dreaming and doing whatever it takes to make them come true. I believe in dreaming, and I believe in hoping. Just like my little man making wishes on dandelions, I will continue and I hope he does the same.

So during this long week of constant rain, I will enjoy it. I will take my time and notice the beautiful things that the rain brings because noticing things is comfortable to me. It's one of those things that reminds me who I am and helps me appreciate everything around me. It's one of those things that I'm working on doing more of because I want to be better at it. I want to notice more of the beauty around me and capture it because that's the box that I fit best in, and I love that. From now on I'll be working a lot harder on staying true to me.

Sowing the Seeds of Love

2011-05-16T21:26:00.000-07:00

The rain finally stopped. It stopped for a while anyway, and when it did we took advantage of it. The time to get the garden going slowly found us. I have documented the garden here on the blog before, but never at this stage. This year I caught it in the beginning. The garden brings back fond memories for me. This time of year was one of my very favorites when I was young. The garden has always been a big part of my parent's lives. They grew up in a day and age when the garden was an absolute necessity. They lived off of its bounties and stored what they needed for the year. I still believe that the garden is a necessity. There are so many lessons to be learned here in the soil, and lucky for me my parents are still here to continue teaching us all about the garden.

The beginning stages of the garden was always my very favorite while growing up. It meant that I spent a whole day with my parents in the carefully prepared soil helping them to plant. The rows were always so straight and the dirt was so soft between my bare toes, and back then it seemed like we were out there for hours together basking in the sun. I remember having two jobs while planting in the garden. First up was the tomatoes. Dad dug the holes for the plants and mom cautiously removed them from their cups to place them in. My job was to go along side of them and pour water in the holes as they moved down the row. I loved this job. My dad would always fill up the green five gallon bucket full of water from the spicket in the barn and I used an old measuring cup to get just the right amount of water into the holes. I remember reaching my arm in deep because the cool water felt so good against my skin. It was the perfect offset to the rough, moist dirt under my feet. It took some time to put the tomatoes in since my mom always planted several rows to ensure there would be enough to make salsa and to can whole tomatoes for later in the year, but I loved every minute of it.

My second job during the planting season that my parents always stressed was so important was throwing the corn seeds. My dad would gently pull the dirt back with the hoe while my mom carried the pre-soaked seeds in a bowl and my job was to throw 3-4 seeds into each hole. This was a much faster job than planting tomatoes. My parents had a rhythm to the corn planting. It was quick and efficient. I used to think that this was an important part of the process, but as I got older I realized that the reason it went so quickly was because stooping to create the holes was painful for my dad. It hurt his back to hunch over the long stretched out row and therefore he preferred that pain be over quickly.

My dad doesn't visit the garden much anymore. It's just too hard to get him out that far to see it in his wheelchair, but he trusts that my mom watches over it and he knows she has done well when he enjoys the rewards that she brings inside to cook with. I miss those days. I miss the time when the three of us used to work together in the same spot I have always known as the garden. Though time has passed and things have changed it still remains a bountiful home for the plants that we place there. Most summer days I can still find my mom there. Even at her age she still weeds and waters the large space on her own. It is her therapy, and it brings her peace to return to a routine that she has known for so many years. I am grateful that she still enjoys it, and I am grateful that she teaches my children about it's importance. Most of all I am grateful that this same garden I have known forever is still a place where I can continue to make memories with my family. I love watching my hooligans get so excited about putting the seeds in the earth and caring for them as they grow. This is something they now share with my parents, and even though grandpa can't go out and see it, he gets to hear all about the experiences they have there and he enjoys it through their laughter and stories. It's why I will always think of the garden as a place of love. It's the only way I've ever known it, and now I can share it with my children. Just look at what a happy place it is.

Happiness

2011-05-14T05:00:00.000-07:00

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look past the imperfections." -Unknown

It's time for me to get back to basics. Back to the things that make me happy. Time with my family, sunshine on my face, wind in my hair, and noticing my surroundings. There is much to be grateful for, and it's time for me to remember that.

Fresh Air

2011-05-11T20:40:00.000-07:00

Today Statement #121:

Today I will breathe in some fresh air. I will enjoy being outside no matter what the temperature is because I really need a change of scenery.

Just so you know the temperature was perfect yesterday evening. I spent some time at my daughter's softball practice where she was chosen as MVP for the night, and then I wrestled with my boy in the front yard grass. Although these dandelions are a bit unsightly, they sure looked beautiful with the evening light shining through them. Doop was happily running from one to the next knocking the seeds off. You can see his hand in the top left corner of this image. When we were done wrestling we went for a walk. I look forward to more nights like this. Fresh air and time with the family was exactly what I needed today.

A Quick Re-Cap

2011-05-10T05:00:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy week. We've been running more than normal around here. Here's a quick re-cap.

First I met up with some very good friends to photograph their family. I love them. I just can't say that enough. Seej, (my always loyal and trusty assistant) and I had a wonderful time with these beautiful people, and it was so good to see them.

This sweet little miss is getting baptized very soon, so we had to do a few in her baptism dress too. Isn't she beautiful?

Next up Seej and I participated in a very special day for a new friend. We were able to take her bridal and wedding pictures and then photograph the reception as well. I had to share a couple of the details because detail photography is my favorite. It was a gorgeous evening.

Next up we celebrated Mother's Day. I had an amazing day filled with cards and gifts from my children and best friend, but the best part of all was spending time with them. As you know it's always my favorite part, and although I will always cherish the sweet handmade cards and breakfast they prepare, nothing compares to just being together. I was also fortunate enough to have my own mother over for a special dinner on Sunday. It was good to do something nice for her and my dad. I've said it before and I'll say it again, she deserves the break. I think if I were to ask her she would say the same thing about her day that I said about mine. Although the gifts were appreciated, the best part was relaxing and spending time with her grandkids. I visited my mother-in-law as well. I appreciate both of these women in my life and all that they do for me and my family. They both have so many gifts that they share, and so many things remind me of each of them. These bleeding hearts grow in front of my mother-in-laws home and they were beckoning for my attention so I snapped a picture that will remind me of both of these wonderful women. We give them both flowers for their gardens each year on Mother's Day. :)

Last but not least, we spent some time with my little man. He had to undergo a minor surgery yesterday, and although it was minor I still didn't like it. It's much easier to put on a brave face as the parent when he puts one on himself, and he definitely did that yesterday. I was proud of him as we walked him to the OR and he went the rest of the way on his own with the anesthesiologist. He didn't shed a single tear before or after the procedure. I appreciate his courage and his example of doing hard things. He is resting well now, and he is definitely bouncing back to his regular self very quickly (teasing his sisters, making them cry, shooting them with any available nerf weapons, you know the regular stuff). Although life has been a bit more busy than usual, we will be back to our regularly scheduled programming starting right now. I have decided that normal and boring are the best ways to describe life. :)

I Am Healthy

2011-05-06T07:25:00.000-07:00

Today Statement #116:

Today I will be an example. I will be kind to myself and be happy with who I am. I will be aware of the things I say and the way I treat myself, because I have little girls in my home watching and learning from my behavior.

Today is International No Diet Day, and I pledge to have a greater awareness of loving myself. My daughter is in learning mode, and she is gaining tools right now that will help her in her future. She is learning to be healthy, and she is learning exactly what that means. This includes exercise and eating good foods, but most importantly it includes having a positive self-image. It means liking who she is no matter what, and it means not worrying about being "labeled". It means not letting others or the media influence her to be discouraged with the beautiful being she is. It means having positive thoughts and encouraging others to do the same. It means being kind to others as much as she is kind to herself because her words and actions could influence someone who might be struggling. It means being less aware of her measurements and more aware of her happiness and overall health. Being healthy is a challenge, but it's one that she's up to meeting. On this day I will be more aware of the way I talk about myself, and start forming better habits because in reality I am truly her biggest teacher whether I want to be or not. I hope you will all be kind to yourselves as well. There is beauty in each of us, and it's something we should celebrate. Today I pledge to be healthy.

First Practice

2011-05-05T05:00:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite times of the year has finally rolled around again. Softball season has officially begun for Seej, and I get to watch her practice and play every week. I love this stuff. She is a natural, and I couldn't help but snatch a few images from her first practice of 2011. Go Pirates!

Bottled Memories

2011-05-03T06:18:00.000-07:00

Last week I stood in my kitchen. I unloaded the dishwasher and randomly placed it's contents on the counter. As I put them away I noticed the light dancing through one of my fruit jars and it's beauty slowed me down. I stopped to watch the light and the shadows, and it made me grateful. The sight of empty Kerr and Mason jars in my sink or on my counter are my favorite. It means that we have emptied another jar of fresh fruit. It means that we will place the empty bottle in the basement where it will patiently wait for summer to arrive when we will gather as a family and bask in the heat of the stove and the light streaming in the window to fill them once again. It means we will turn on the music and laugh as we work. It means we will stay up late waiting for the jars to seal, and when they do they will seal the fruit and our memories together to be enjoyed at a later date. It means that I will see them in my storage room and smile knowing that we worked together, and it means I will savor the goodness of the contents that much more because each time I open them I remember our assembly line and our efficiency in storing the fruit. It means we will work together once more this year to bottle up some more memories. I got all of that out of this one lonely jar as I watched the light dance around and through it. It's just as beautiful when it's empty as it is when it's full.